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OH THE DRAMA...
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samedi, août 31, 2002
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well...let's see...i don't really know where i should start! today was an interesting day! WE DANCED TODAY IN BAND!! it was fun! we learned the whole fire move thing (well...part of it) and...YAY!!!! I'M SOO EXCITED!!! ok, so the rest of the day was kinna blah because i woke up this mornig thinking it was saturday (and i thought yesterday was friday) then realized i still had to go to school. i was up late last night doing the second english paper, so...yeah. like i said, the rest of the day was kinna blah, but after school was fun! i walk with hammy from 6th to the band hall and today he had to go tell his mom that he was going to be staying because he was going to do the movie thing. while we were down there she started telling me stories about him and he got really embarrassed! it was really cute! i don't think i've ever really seen him red in the face, but i sure did then! she wasn't even telling bad stories...just something about him sleeping in one day and wheeler having to go to the door to get him.
anyway...hammy and i were walking to the band hall and when we got there i noticed that there was a lot of music (but not band music) coming from inside. when i approached the door...well...EVERYONE WAS IN THE BAND HALL WATCHING THE DRILL GUY DANCE AND THEN DOING WHAT HE DID!!! it looked like a lot of fun, but i had to go change into my marching clothes!
so, i did the sectional, got finished with that, went to the movie thing, talked to jessica, talked to tc, and went to bring hammy home. (this is where the next story starts!) well...we were talking in his driveway and blah blah he got my brake light to blink and we're both really excited about that! then we decided to go bother wheeler at his house so we headed over there and talked to michael outside his house for 2 hrs (i think) just talking about random stuff! dude, i think i really like the poor guy! he's such a sweet heart and always seems to have something uplifting to say just when i need it! AND OH MY GOODNESS...HE HAS THE CUTEST DIMPLES!!! (yeah, i'm a dimple freak!) have you ever thought you liked someone but not been really sure because you were afraid that nothing good could really come out of it...partly because you're...never mind...that's MY life...noone else has that problem! i don't know. anyway...that was lots of fun! i think he was a little surprised when matt and i just kinna showed up in front of his house. i would have been...well...a tad confused, but whatever!
i can't really think of whatelse i was going to say, so i guess i'm done now! tomorrow i'm supposed to be going out with michael, matt, and jessica! hopefully everything will work how we want it to and we'll have a good time!
GOOD NIGHT TO ALL!!!! I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH!!!!!
12:45 AM
vendredi, août 30, 2002
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MATT GOT MY BRAKE LIGHT TO BLINK!!!! (y'all don't know what that means, but everytime i take him home and we sit and talk he plays with my brake trying to get it to blink. HE GOT IT TODAY!!!)
11:59 PM
jeudi, août 29, 2002
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well...I HATE ENGLISH! that's what i've decided for today! i don't like writing papers...i can't ever start them...i can't write them...i KNOW she was just trying to help, but my mom was really frustrating me because she was telling me what i did and didn't want to say and what i really meant when i wrote something...i don't know. it's late and i'm going to bed!
WHY YOU GOTTA GO AND MAKE THINGS SO COMPLICATED?
10:53 PM
mercredi, août 28, 2002
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ok, think i'm hating boys again...well, not hating, but not really liking. i mean, i like a boy (who will remain unnamed so he doesn't get all embarrassed). but they are really confusing...well...really...weird! i don't know...i wish i could figure them out, but i seem to have a hard time doing that! anyway...
katie's been at college for a week...and it feels more like a yr. i can't go get therapy icecream when things concerning boys come up, cuz that's a LONG drive to go do icecream together. she had a good suggestion, but...man...i miss you SOOOO much, katie! thanks for helping with the guy stuff! i think i have it figured out...well...at least at my end! and since almost everyone else i've talked to seems to know...well...whatever! as long as "x" doesn't find out i guess it's all cool. i think i'd rather tell him than have someone else tell him. i'm a little worried about what it will mean for our friendship, though, cuz...yeah!
well...it's LATE and i have to get up in the morning for SCHOOL, so i'm going to BED!!!!
11:29 PM
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well...i've been trying to write for two days and my computer seems too stupid (nothing against you, sam) to process it. therefore, i have not been able to vent like i needed to on here. i don't know why, but i have a hard time just writing stuff here...maybe because i'm afraid that someone will read it and get upset or i'll write something someone didn't want me to write or whatever, but this is mine, so shouldn't i beable to write whatever i want? i don't know...i still can't convince myself that it's ok.
monday and tuesday both were kind of blah days for me. yesterday was our first precal test and andy and i are both kinna...well...i just want to know how i did. if i didn't do well, i'm going to start asking all of you guys (plus the people that don't read this because i don't have any idea who does) to tutor me! but feel free to turn me down, i'll understand completely! i know everyone can't put up with my stupidity the way evan did last year! (THANK YOU SOO MUCH, EVAN!)
i went over to amy miller's house yesterday to study for the big A&P test that i'm really freaked out about and all i can really say is i hope it's not really hard! i mean, i went to bed last night around 11:30 and went over my flashcards like 3 times each before going to bed then woke up at 4:45 this morning worrying about them! so while cooking breakfast this morning i went over them again. I'M GOING TO MESS SOMETHING UP AND IT'S GOING TO BE REALLY REALLY REALLY BAD!!!!! :( *sigh* i guess now that that's out of my system i can move on...
today the drill guy (who, by the way, does have a name...i just don't know it at the present) is supposed to work with us in class and then after school until 6:00. i hope it's fun! i don't want not fun today...it's a fun day...i have a lesson today! AND TWO TESTS ONE OF WHICH I DIDN'T STUDY FOR BECAUSE I'M TOO STRESSED ABOUT THE OTHER ONE!!!!!
well...i think that's all i have to say right now! hope everyone has a wonderful day at school and i'll talk to you kids later!!!! LOVE YOU ALL VERY MUCH!!
6:40 AM
dimanche, août 25, 2002
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everyone should read luann (the comicstrip) in today's paper! it's SOO the story of my life...at least how i feel about guys. or should i say how i FELT about guys... it's been a pretty good weekend in the guy department, i guess you could say. nothing TOO terrible has happened...except that jacob came over and he and my family all ganged up on me and were bashing me (SOMETHING THEY WON'T LET ME DO!) for a while. oh well...noone said life was fair! anyway...i'm going to bed cuz i'm tired (not really, but...) and it's past my bedtime. hope everyone had half the weekend i had!! (or half the night i had!)
11:17 PM
samedi, août 24, 2002
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oh, and i got a 97 on my world history test! and shelby and i have a 100 average in precal!!!!
12:05 AM
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ok, i'm really confused right now. i don't want to write the whole reasoning on here because it might upset some people, so i'm not quite sure how i'm going to put this. i don't know. we'll just do a hypothetical situation...so this guy tells this girl that he knows what he wants but that he doesn't think she knows what she wants because she says one thing and does another. then about 2 days later he does something totally different than that he said 2 days earlier. so isn't he the fickle one? i'm sure that didn't make any sense to anyone but me, but it's ok. guys are really depressing right now...i don't know how else to put it for my life.
ok, why can't guys always be the same. i mean, why do they have to act one way one day and another way the next day? and why do they have to keep their feelings all bottled up until when they say something it sounds really bad? why can't they just be like my mom thinks i am and wear their emotions on their sleeves? oh...wait...thats not "manly" enough, i remember now. ok, this isn't all that long and it doesn't really tell anything, but this is all i have to say right now...
12:00 AM
jeudi, août 22, 2002
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ok, someone tell me i'm mistaken, but rumor around the band is that we have a competition the same day as homecoming. is it true? if so, are we still going to beable to go to the dance or will finals break into that?
11:12 PM
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sorry for not writing yesterday...not TOO much happened though. i talked to chris for those of you that know that story (or bits and pieces of it). it was actually kinna...interesting. i don't know. whatever, i guess.
today i was supposed to go to the Y for a meeting about teaching lessons during the fall semester but i had too much homework (still not done) so i called cary (my boss) and told him i wouldn't beable to make it, but since he didn't answer his phone i just left him a message....hope it's all ok?! if not it's ok. i just won't have a job there...whatever!
you know, if you've never talked to michael wheeler before, you really should! he's gotta be one of the sweetest guys i've ever met in my life...and he's really easy to talk to and get along with!
i wish i had more to talk about, but i can't think of too much to say right now. i'll HOPEFULLY talk to you all sometime soon!
11:07 PM
mardi, août 20, 2002
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ok, so now i'm REALLY pissed. i wrote this whole thing out and now it's gone. i had a bad night and i wrote about it to make me feel better, but now none of y'all can read what i wrote...maybe there's a reason for that. either way, i don't want to rewrite it, so i'm not going to. i'm sorry if i took any of tonight's anger out on any of you but know that i love you all very much.
KATIE, I'M MISSING YOU SOO MUCH ALREADY. IT'S GUNNA KINNA SUCK NOT BEING ABLE TO WRITE ABOUT ALL MY STUPID PROBLEMS ON A SHEET OF PAPER TO BE PASSED IN BAND OR NOT BEING ABLE TO TALK TO YOU IN FYZIX WHILE WE IGNORED MS. FRAZIER AND EVERYTHING. I'M READY TO BE UP AT SWT WITH YOU CUZ I'M READY TO LEAVE ALL THESE HS PROBLEMS BEHIND (and i know you know which ones i'm talking about!)
i hope you all have a wonderful night and sweet dreams to you all!
10:09 PM
lundi, août 19, 2002
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well...it's been a while since i last wrote in here (that's kinna how busy i've been recently). today was the first day of school and i have to admit that i'm not looking forward to this year at all. marching's gunna kill me if the classes on top of it don't kill me first. i'm pretty excited that i know SOMEONE in each of my classes (besides my world history class...which is first period). i guess we'll see how things go. my mom's gunna call school tomorrow to see if she can get me out of one of my classes cuz she personally has a problem with the teacher. i guess we'll just have to see what's up, right?! it probably won't do any good, but it's worth the shot, i hope!!!!
TODAY I GOT TO SEE KATIE WYNNS (probably the last time before she leaves for swt)!!!!!!!!!!! it was great cuz she came to see me at marching practice. I'M GOING TO MISS HER SOOOOOOOO MUCH!!! katie, i had a bowl of therapy ice cream for you and for me (yeah, that means i had two bowls of icecream) today...but it wasn't quite the same without you. its gunna really suck when i need to go to TCBY with you for some therapy and yo'ure gunna be SOO far away that i'll have to eat double it by myself. :( everything will work out, though, right?
chris made it very clear to me today that i'm fickle. this is a public apology to all the guys out there i ever accused of being fickle pickles (except, of course, those of you who really ARE fickle). it was me, not you, that was fickle.
moving right along...ummm...well...i guess that's kinna all i have to say! good night, sweet dreams, and sleep safe to all of you!!!
oh, and eric...thanks for the call!! i look forward to seeing the boots tomorrow!!! ;)
10:13 PM
mercredi, août 14, 2002
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alright...so the thing that fell off of connie's engine yesterday was called the harmonic balancer. yeah, that was fun (not really). anyway, this morning (well...around noon) the tow truck guy came to pick her up to bring her to the shop and that was all fun! i got home from marching this afternoon and my mom and dad were pulling into the driveway and said that she was ready but when my parents got there, the shop was already closed. anyway...she's ready and i thought it was gunna be something really big that was gunna take some MAJOR time. i guess i was wrong!! (and that's a good thing!) well...that's pretty much my story and i'm sticking to it! have a wonderful day!!!
10:01 PM
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ok, so i yesterday i was backing out of my driveway to go to sectionals and Connie kinna died on me. like she didn't turn back on. some guy was driving down the street and since her butt was sticking out into the street and i guess he saw me trying to push her back into the driveway by myself (and didn't get anywhere) he asked if i needed some help. so we got her up the driveway a little bit and i called mr. clardy and my mom and my dad to tell them that i was going to be late for sectionals and that connie had broken down on me. when my mom got here to bring me to sectionals (well...for me to bring her back to work and then for me to take bertha to sectioals so i could have it to go to salvation army) we looked at the car and saw a belt dragging on the ground. that kinna pissed me right off cuz when i got home from marching i had looked under the hood to see if there was something wrong (cuz i felt a little shakingness) and the belt looked FINE! ok, so blah blah, on the way home from salvation army, i made everyone help me push the car up the driveway so we could put the rest of the cars in. my dad got home and went to look at what was wrong and...yeah...the belt's FINE! it's not the belt that broke, it's some part of the engine that fell off. yeah, it's not gunna be cheap at ALL! so my dad's supposed to be calling around to find the best "deal" on someone who can fix connie for me then call a tow truck and everything like that. anyway...that's all i have to say right now. alright...that's it! i'll try to write later!
9:22 AM
lundi, août 12, 2002
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well...all i have to really talk about right now is the YMCA luncheon i went to today! it was really cool! i got to say goodbye to everyone i'm not going to beable to see again and get everyone's email addresses and everything. yeah...it was great! (but i have nothing to say about it...how sad is that?)
after "sectionals" today katie, katie, beth and i went to TCBY and hung out for a little bit! it was great! i'm planning a bscl "get together" so we can do stuff (fun stuff) and all that jazz. today we got the things from actionwear plus for the section shirts and i have a LOT of corrections i have to make on ours. nothing too major, but...yeah, whatever! i hope everyone's happy with it in the end!
jessica wald IMed me today (her screen name is hotwhiterice84<~fits her well, huh?) and we got to talk a little! it's GREAT the internet and all! haha...ok, well...i'm done boring everyone so i'm off to do...well...things!
7:36 PM
dimanche, août 11, 2002
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ok, so i forgot to tell you about the MOST CRAZY thing that happened during the retreat! (how i forgot is totally beyond me, but...anyway...) ok, so saturday night after all the sad stuff we had a little dance thing with music or whatever if you wanted to stay up or you could go and sing more worship songs or whatever you wanted to do. during this time, however, there were apparently some guys (drunk) that got into the retreat site thing, were drunk, and were looking for someone. i heard (and now i'm spreading rumors because i don't know if it's true) that someone rearended the guys in the truck and were seen entering the site. well...the guys in the truck were driving really fast around the area so we weren't allowed to go anywhere unless we had BIG groups and then jon chan had to sleep in our bunk so we would have a "strong man to protect us if the guys came back"! (actually, i don't really know why he was with us, but it sounds kinna good!) umm...but the cops came and talked to the guys and...yeah. it was CRAZY!!! if i wasn't listening to the news and all, i'd beable to tell y'all more of what happened, but...oh well! sorry about that! anyway, it's WAY PAST my bedtime so i'll write again later!
10:06 PM
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dude, alright...i just got home from the CROSSRoads retreat at my church (it was this weekend) and i feel TOTALLY different. for those of you who don't know what that means, i'm on my "road" to confirmation and this is one of the retreats that is required. anyway, so the band pool party was friday night (the night we left) and i was really upset that i was going to miss it because i've never been before and i was actually looking forward to going this year because we (leadership) are trying really hard to make this year fun and trying to get better attendence at functions and everything. either way, i didn't get to go due to this retreat (that i wasn't looking forward to becuase i wasn't going to really know anyone going besides katie sherrer and i'm really shy around new people). so i left pretty much not in the God mood, if you know what i mean?! ok, anyway...so we leave church, NICE ride there (i sat next to some girl that didn't talk to me at all and i had noone to talk to so for 45 minutes i kinna sat spacing out), got there and decided on where we were going to bunk. there were two cabins for the girls, each cabin had a "living room" and two sleeping rooms. each "bed room" had about 20 beds i think. the room that katie, kathy, chris, becca and i were in had JUST the five of us (plus the youth retreat organizer) while the other room in our cabin had something like 11-12 girls in it. yeah...that was kinna cool. blah blah...to make a LONG story short, my favorite part of the weekend was saturday night.
ok, so saturday we have a few talks, lunch, free time, a few more talks, dinner, then we get to the "secret/surprise" of the weekend. (every retreat there's a special activity planned for saturday night...a really emotional activity for me.) so we all gather on the floor and watch a slide show thing and it's really good and i'm kinna getting emotional. then we did something else and i got even more emotional and then our small group leaders performed the washing of the feet thing (by this time i've been crying for almost an hour i assume). after all the washing of the feet stuff goes by, we go back to the hall and watch something else about Jesus and His struggles for us. (ok, so for a little history about this and me, my favorite mass is Holy Thursday...when Jesus is nailed to the cross and all that jazz...it is the most emotional day for me and...yeah.) so we're watching this thing with footage from a movie about Jesus and all this really good stuff and i'm unable to keep my emotions quiet anymore and i've got tears streaming down my face and the whole runny nose thing (lovely image, i know) because i have a really hard time comprehending the fact that God sent His only son to live as i live, with the temptations and everything, then sacrificed Him on the cross (like He asked Abraham to do to his son) for my sins knowing that i would doubt my religion and my faithfulness to Him constantly. He didn't know me, but that didn't matter to Him. goodness...just writing this is a little hard for me because it's the first time i've spilled something like this to really anyone. it's the most awesome feeling that Jesus would give His life for me, i just wish that i could be that "perfect christian" and not doubt my faith or anything like that. one thing i could never doubt, however, is His unconditional love for me. who else would give their only PERFECT son so that my sins would be forgiven, even when i don't ask for forgiveness? i can't think of anyone.
i know that i went to the retreat for some reason. God was calling me to be there this weekend with all those people. they have helped me strengthen my faith in ways even i will never know. the staffersby sharing their faith and their "once lost but now found paths", the other retreaters by being there for me when i needed them or just being someone to talk to when i needed to vent. rebecca will probably NEVER read this, but i want her to somehow know that by simply telling me that when she was at this point in her life, she didn't know if she wanted to be confirmed or not and that's exactly where i am right now. this is MY decision. my parents can't push me to do it, it's totally up to me and God and i know God won't force me into something i'm not truly ready for. kelly, rebecca and monica (along with everyone else but especially these three) have probably been the most helpful by simply listening to my complaints, concerns, etc.
ok, i don't want to think about that anymore cuz it's kinna sad (well...sappy). i'm all outta stuff to say, though, so i'll just write again later!!!
feel free to email me at any time: swimfly816@hotmail.com
the CROSSRoads website if anyone wants to check it out is at: http://www.cgsyouth.org/RetreatsCROSSRoads.asp
4:10 PM
mercredi, août 07, 2002
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ok, sorry i didn't write last night, but i was REALLY tired and...yeah. ok, so yesterday at work a guy that i work with (jason matoca ?!) got stung on the roof of his mouth by a bee. HOW CRAZY IS THAT? he was drinking out of his water bottle (filled with gatorade) and when he went to take a drink the bee flew into his mouth and stung him on the top. my boss got the stinger out with tweezers and he was saying it was just over an inch long (the stinger). OUCH!!!! i can't even imagine how much that must have hurt, ya know? i've gotten stung on the arm before and i thought it hurt A LOT and that was just on my arm! humph...oh well. anyway, after work i swam a little bit (a 500 at the Y then went to the wimbledon pool and swam a 600) cuz my mom told me i couldn't be scarlet anymore. (scarlet from gone with the wind...i'll explain it later if you really wanna know.) yeah, so that was my story. i got home and was really tired (physically, not like *yawn* i'm tired and i'm going to bed) so i watched a movie with my dad and then fell asleep (so i don' tknow how it ends) so my dad told me to go to bed in my bed and...well...here i am getting ready to go to marching practice! i need to go brush my teeth, put on band-aids for my blisters, socks, shoes, get my water bottle and david's water bottle, and i'll be out the door to get jessica! have a great day!!!!
6:35 AM
lundi, août 05, 2002
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UGH!!! I HAD A BAD DAY AND THAT'S ALL I HAVE TO SAY! I'M SORRY, NOTHING GOOD TO TELL ABOUT TODAY! (except that i picked up my paycheck!)
10:31 PM
samedi, août 03, 2002
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alrighty...well...since i haven't been on the computer since the last time i updated this, i'm sorry for not writing something. (go check out my new blog for band stuff cuz that's pretty much gunna be the one that has more info on it! http://mirbscl.blogspot.com/ ) so work kinna sucked on thursday (but it was the last day of the week, so i'm not gunna complain too much!) i got paid yesterday but didn't pick up my paycheck cuz i never had time, so...yeah. i'm still moneyless :( last night jessica, michael (wheeler), matt (hamilton), chris (edman) and i all went to the FOOTLOOSE play at 1960 playhouse to see KATIE WYNNS! and will blankenship (i hope that's how you spell his last name!) cuz will was in the play and katie was in the pit! before the play, everyone but chris (cuz i couldn't get a hold of him) went to olive garden to eat dinner (even though matt didn't order anything) and...yeah...it took a while for us to actually eat cuz we were laughing too hard...almost the WHOLE time. but, dude, it was LOADS of fun. jess and i split a dinner (the same one we have the past three times we've been) and got salad! michael got the t-bone steak, well done, with no salad and matt got a water! haha...everyone's orders!! woohoo!!! yeah...anyway...after the play we went to mcdonald's to get icecream (crazy...we all got something different) and sat outside so jess wouldn't be cold even though michael got mad (not really, but...) cuz his mcflurry was melting. but, hey, whatever! then i got home, went to bed, and here i am writing all this. i gotta go to band! talk to you later!!
i think chris is mad at me, but i'm not really all that sure why...but then again, i think he's always mad at me but won't ever tell me why. oh well...i'll get over it i guess.
1:55 PM
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