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OH THE DRAMA...
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mardi, décembre 31, 2002
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(blog 12:45am 12-31-02)<~it wouldn't let me post last night, so...here you go!
well...not too much to talk about happened today. katie spent the night last night after going to the movies with val and jess for jessica's birthday. (we saw 2 weeks notice....cute movie!) actually...we got home and left to go to blockbuster and kroger (about 10:30-ish). we got 4 movies and a WHOLE bunch of ice cream! then when we got back here we set up a blanket on the floor in my room so we could lay out and we sat and ate our ice cream and watched our movies. then this morning (or i guess this afternoon almost) katie's mom called and woke us up at 11:49 and we got up and went downstairs to watch meet joe black (I LOVE PEANUT BUTTER!!!!) and ate more ice cream. then we went to nick's house to watch the band stuff and then came home and watched more joe black with more eating (pizza this time) then went to mcdonalds to get double cheeseburgers and FINALLY finished the movie. then the yucky storm started so katie went home and...well...oh, i took a bath and read some quotes from my book and....now i'm just blah-ing in front of the computer cuz i'm too lazy to go to bed. the only productive thing i've done today is i just applied to UT. but i still have to write my essays...so i dunno. ugh...i HATE college stuff... well...back to fighting with katie and matt...
12:57 PM
dimanche, décembre 29, 2002
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ok, i got this out of the Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul II
it's tough to be a teenager
it's tough to be a teenager, no one really knows
what the pressure is like in school, this is how it goes.
i wake up every morning, and stare into this face
i wanna be good lookin', but i feel like a disgrace.
my friends they seem to like me, if i follow through with their dare,
but when i try to be myself, they never seem to care.
my mom, well she keeps saying, i gotta make the grade
while both my parents love me, it slowly seems to fade.
it seems like everyone i know is trying to be so cool
and every time i try, i end up just a fool.
i've thought about taking drugs, i really don't want to you know
but i just don't fit in, and it's really startin' to show.
maybe if i could make the team, i'll stand out in the crowd
if they could see how hard i try, i know they would be proud.
you see i'm still a virgin, my friends they can't find out
'cause if they really knew the truth, i know they'd laugh and shout.
sometimes i really get so low, i want to cash it in
my problems really aren't so bad, if i think of how life's been.
sometimes i'm really lost, and wonder what to do
i wonder where to go, who can i talk to.
it's tough to be a teenage, sometimes life's not fair
i wish i had somewhere to go, and someone who would CARE.
~tony overman
12:56 PM
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WHY CAN'T THEY JUST GET ME? what have i done to make things so...however they are? i'm so confused. maybe i'm just not supposed to understand. i'm just not sure anymore. KATIE...I'M SOO READY FOR TOMORROW NIGHT!!!!! the last movie we got didnt do it for me. we need some REAL movies. i don't have anymore stories for you, but i can still complain and complain. "jeremy" works tomorrow night so maybe we can go get some therapy icecream and if he's the one that stocked the freezer section again and we can't find what we're looking for...we'll just have to chew him out again! (then my mom will get mad at me for being mean to him, but that's my job!) anyway...i'm really going to cry myself to sleep now... hope everything is going better for everyone else. I LOVE YOU, KATIE JOY!!!!!
"it's such a secret place, the land of tears."
~antoine de saint-exupery
2:03 AM
samedi, décembre 28, 2002
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OH MY GOODNESS...I ALMOST FORGOT TO TELL YOU!!!! (but thank goodness i didn't....) CONNIE GOT A NEW TOP!!!! SHE LOOKS NICE!!!! NO MORE HOLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (for those of you who don't know...connie is my mustang) ....i think that's it now! BYE!
3:48 AM
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well...katie (a wynns...as you will always be so when i marry MARK i can look you up and tell you...that is IF we're not still the best of friends in the world...SECOND HALF!)....YOU BETTER GET COMFY CUZ I GOT A FULL TANK!!!! hehe...actually...i kinna do have a lot to tell you, but not on here...it'll have to wait til you come back to get your movies or i go over there to bring them. or until we go to I-HOP, whatever! but...yeah. i dunno....BOYS...*shaking my head*...UGH! how can i hate them when i love them so much? SOMEONE EXPLAIN THAT TO ME!!!!!!!!!
so, my mom (err....santa) gave me socks for christmas (yes, that's about it) that say "i like boys" all over them. her theory is when i wear them it means i like boys again and i'll be vocalizing it to the world so everyone will know once and for all. the only flaw in her whole plan thing is that i don't REALLY hate boys...i just don't like how they act sometimes...a bit too fickle! but it's ok, cuz they're cute! (AND SOME EVEN HAVE DIMPLES!) but, whatever, she tries! ha...well...i'm cold and i'm tired and i have a LONG day tomorrow (cuz i actually ahve to get dressed and do my hair and take a shower and stuff like that). hope everyone has a lovely weekend! if anyone wants to do anything with me the rest of the break, you probably know how to reach me. if not, email me swimfly816@hotmail.com and i'll give you more ways than that one!!! hehe.... (it's late. that's the only excuse i can come up with!)
3:45 AM
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so.....KATIE'S HERE!!!!! we watched ya ya sisterhood....but we're not sure if we like it or not. like, it was a good movie, i guess...but it was...really...interesting. we banged foreheads just a few minutes ago...it kinna hurt....i'm listening to the guy she's talking to on the phone (his name is john...he's got a sexy voice). anyway...
katie and i don't like boys...and if blake wants to do something he better call her...he better take the first step...(she's snorting right now...) DON'T LIKE TIFFANY...LIKE KATIE...SHE'S SOOO MUCH BETTER!!!!!!
so...yeah. katie e wrote me a poem the other day. i hope she sends it to me..as soon as she does i'm gunna post it on my other blog...feel free to read it when it's up (i'll put a message here so you know...)
well...looks like...i'm finished here.
1:29 AM
jeudi, décembre 26, 2002
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WE GOT A NEW COMPUTER TODAY!!! i set it up by myself...then moved the old one upstairs! woohoo for me!! (that's all for right now!)
3:52 PM
mercredi, décembre 25, 2002
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before it's no longer christmas, MERRY CHRISTMAS TO EVERYONE!!!
i saw lord of the rings today...it was good...i wanna see it again (when i don't have to sit for an hour and half outside the theater so i can get good seats...)
11:40 PM
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just some fun quizzes for everyone to take!
7:18 AM
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wow! last night was pretty cool. i was going to write all about it then but david was on the computer playing with a new game robert got him. we went to church last night for the 7:45 service and my dad and i ended up greeting. (fun stuff...) i love the "outfit" i wore! THANKS KATIES!!!!! anyway...so i was getting all ready to go to church and all and chris came over to get his present. i dunno if he likes it or not, but he got it and left with it. oh well...took some time to do, but...yeah! (oh, chris if you ever read this, i slept in the one you made me last night cuz it was on the stairs and i fell asleep in front of the TV.) ANYWAY...the service was really nice. i liked the sermon by Fr. John. he's pretty good, rob and i have decided, when he speaks from the heart. (not that he's not good at other times, don't get me wrong...i really like the guy, just think it really speaks when it's from the heart.) jen came with us to church. it was great fun! hehe...then we came home and opened christmas presents. i got to be santa, like every year, cuz i know what everyone got (for the most part) and i know which presents have to be opened together and all that jazz. robert got to work the video camera cuz my dad wanted me to not have to do two things at once, cuz i don't think he thinks i can do it...oh well. so the best presents this year went to my mom and dad. my mom got a digital camera from my dad and my mom and dad got a dvd/vcr from all the kids. (we do such a good job!!) i think it tops last years gift of a new speakerphone/answering machine/caller id. goodness...we didn't clean up all the wrapping paper from last night so it's ALL over the floor. hehe...you can't really see the floor around the sofas! i think today we're going to see lord of the rings: two towers but i'm not really sure. we were supposed to go yesterday but...well...around here plans change without anyone really knowing about it but that's the story of our family! uh...i guess that's really about all i have to say here so i'm off to eat some breakfast! i'll write again later, don't worry!
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO EVERYONE!!! (and if you don't celebrate christmas then happy whatever it is you are celebrating!)
6:27 AM
mardi, décembre 24, 2002
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'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads;
And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, DASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!
On, COMET! on CUPID! on, DONDER and BLITZEN!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.
His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT!"
well...on that note, everyone have a merry christmas!!!
12:53 AM
dimanche, décembre 22, 2002
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robert and i just got home from kingwood. he got really tired on the way home so he pulled over and i drove. good thing i wasn't too tired, huh? i had my "tunes" to keep me going. (by the way- that means anything on the radio, preferably a song) anyway...that was fun. i LOVE them...and i got to meet mark. he's a cute guy! robert thinks he's "pretty cool" cuz he seems to know what he's talking about. (i think it's cuz he knows lots about sports and he's dating teri, but WHATEVER!)
on the way home (before rob got tired) i asked if he had different "criteria" for guys for me than he does for our cousins and he said yes...i don't really know what the criteria are, but i kinna want to know. random thought i had to throw in here. anyway...i hope everyone had a great night and i'm...well...gunna go to bed soon!
1:49 AM
samedi, décembre 21, 2002
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YAY!!! today jessica and i went and did LOTS of fun stuff! we went and got stuff for me to make presents out of then we went to old town spring to pick up my senior pictures. (if you want one, let me know...) then we went back to jessica's to work on the presents! boy did it take a long time for us to do...well...not too much! i still gotta finish one gift but we got the other one done! YAY!! uh...anything else? i can't think of anything. (i can't get very detailed on what i did cuz i can't give away the gifts...in case the people they're for read this...).
6:08 PM
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(this is an email i received from my aunt about the origin of the song "The Twelve Days of Christmas")
From 1558 until 1829, Roman Catholics in England were not permitted to practice their faith openly. Someone during that era wrote this carol as a catechism song for young Catholics. It has two levels of meaning: the surface meaning plus a hidden meaning known only to members of their church. Each element in the carol has a code word for a religious reality which the children could remember.
The partridge in a pear tree was Jesus Christ.
Two turtle doves were the Old and New Testaments.
Three French hens stood for faith, hope and love.
The four calling birds were the four gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke & John.
The five golden rings recalled the Torah or Law, the first five books of the Old Testament.
The six geese a-laying stood for the six days of creation.
Seven swans a-swimming represented the sevenfold gifts of the Holy Spirit: Prophesy, Serving, Teaching, Exhortation, Contribution, Leadership, and Mercy.
The eight maids a-milking were the eight beatitudes.
Nine ladies dancing were the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self Control.
The ten lords a-leaping were the ten commandments.
The eleven pipers piping stood for the eleven faithful disciples.
The twelve drummers drumming symbolized the twelve points of belief in the Apostles' Creed.
10:52 AM
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this is kinna an early christmas thing...i hope y'all enjoy it. just think about it, alright!?
(First Corinthians 13, Christmas Version)
If I decorate my house perfectly with plaid bows, strands of twinkling lights and shiny balls, but do not show love to my family, I'm just another decorator.
If I slave away in the kitchen, baking dozens of Christmas cookies, preparing gourmet meals and arranging a beautifully adorned table at mealtime, but do not show love to my family, I'm just another cook.
If I work at the soup kitchen, carol in the nursing home and give all that I have to charity, but do not show love to my family, it profits me nothing.
If I trim the spruce with shimmering angels and crocheted snowflakes, attend a myraid of holiday parties and sing in the choir's cantata but do not focuz on Christ, I have missed the point.
Love stops the cooking to hug a child.
Love sets aside the decorating to kiss the husband.
Love is kind, though harried and tired.
Love doesn't envy another's home that has coordinated Christmas china and table linens.
Love doesn't yell at the kids to get out of the way, but is thankful they are there to be in the way.
Love doens't give only to those who are able to give in return but rejoices in giving to those who can't.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails.
Videogames will break, pearl necklaces will be lost, golf clubs will rust, but giving the gift of love will endure.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
10:45 AM
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well...at the party we ordered pizza, had cupcakes, watched the jerk, talked, yelled...whatever! anyway...i hope you all had a good day. after the party i sat here (in front of the computer) and practiced my clarinet like i do so often. then i ate, and talked, and blahed. then i went to erica dean's party! yay! I SAW SOO MANY PEOPLE I HAVEN'T SEEN (or talked to) I A WHILE!! (ok, just 5 or 6 but STILL!) it was great! now i'm just tired and cold so i'm going to bed! have a great night!
1:17 AM
vendredi, décembre 20, 2002
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well...i was going to write last night...but it got REALLY late. KATIE'S HOME!!!! katie, katie, and i all went out to lunch (jason's deli) yesterday to talk about boys...gotta get all our boy stories out! people looked at us really funny cuz we were being loud (and probably a little annoying) b/c it's the first time we've all been together since....HOMECOMING! wow...that's a long time. goodness...yeah! anyway...so we were there for almost two hours i think then i brought katie home and came home and started studying. then i made cupcakes and then katie (you know which one i'm talking about?) came over and we made FIVE BATCHES OF PUPPY CHOW!!! (that's 45 cups of puppy chow just so you know....) haha...while we were making puppy chow we were also talking to people online. it was LOADS of fun for us! woohoo!!! anyway...so we finished with the puppy chow, cleaned the kitchen (it was a big mess) then started studying. well...i started studying she kept talking to people online...then she finished talking to whoever she was talking to and she helped me study for my anatomy final. we thought of some...interesting...ways to remember things i was having a hard time remembering. then she left...and i had to go to bed...and i didn't study anymore...oh well.
i'll write about today later! but incase i don't get a chance...I HAD A PARTY!!!!...IT WAS SOOO MUCH FUN!!!! (well...i had fun!)
FINALS ARE ALL OVER FOR THE YEAR!!!! NO MORE SCHOOL TIL JANUARY 7TH!!!!!!!! WOOHOO!!!
oh...and congrats to ERICA DEAN on graduation!
3:07 PM
mercredi, décembre 18, 2002
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i finally got some christmas shopping done. not too much, just a few things for a few people, but it's better than what i had before. anyway...i really need to get some studying done cuz i've kinna been putting it off (i'm such a procrastinator....) but i thought i'd write something in here before i headed up to my room...for the night. OH, I GOT AN 87 ON MY WORLD HISTORY FINAL!!!! (that's not really good...my mom wanted to know why i didn't get an "A" but oh well...i approve since i didn't study.) talk to most of you tomorrow! I CAN'T WAIT TIL LUNCH, KATIE!!! THERAPY ICECREAM HERE WE COME!!!!!!!!! :)
10:38 PM
lundi, décembre 16, 2002
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david's concert was tonight...we played the song better!!!!! anyway...tomorrow's the ENGLISH final (6th period). i have to admit i'm a bit nervous about it b/c i haven't studied too much and i don't know what happens in two of the novels (becket and osp) and beCAUSE i didn't read osp, i don't know what i'm doing for my essay... might suck, huh?
well...not much else to say...CHRIS IF YOU GET ONLINE AND READ THIS, I NEED MY GRAMMAR BOOK TO TURN IN TOMORROW!!! I FORGOT TO TELL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! tahnks for bringing it to me. anyway...i'll be back i'm sure!
10:40 PM
dimanche, décembre 15, 2002
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HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY, CHRIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! love you, boy!
2:17 AM
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all i can't say
there's so much i can't say
when i look into your eyes.
i'm worried you'll reject me
and hurt my foolish pride.
each day this love grows stronger
but i could never let you know.
there's so much behind my smile
that i could never show.
i'd hold you for a lifetime
if you would let me in.
i'd love you like no other
but you don't understand.
everytime i see you
you are holding her.
the pain is like a knife
cutting deep into my soul.
so i'll dream of us together
of just how it could be.
and all that you are
will remaing a silent part of me.
12:25 AM
samedi, décembre 14, 2002
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KATIE'S SWEET 16 PARTY WAS TONIGHT!!!!! i got her a really lame gift, but it's all good...right? dude, how come i have so many more underclassman friends than i do upperclassman friends? or why do i get along better with them than with people my own age? i feel kinna sorry for all them that had to be with me tonight, but...well...robbie, if you read this, THANKS!!! hehe...i'm sure you don't know what that's for and it's ok, just accept it!
ann put icing in my hair...but i guess that's fair cuz i put it all over her face!!! anyway...i had great fun! the scavenger hunt wasn't too bad either! robbie and i ran...really far...but at least the lights weren't against us! WE DIDN'T GET RUN OVER!!! THAT'S A PLUS, RIGHT?! mean old man yelled at ann and i...i think we were being too loud (or maybe it was the dogs?!).
i went and got my sr pics done today! jessica went with my mom and i!!! dude, that was so much fun but it would have been ten times as much fun if i LIKED getting pictures of me taken. oh well, right? i had to take my shoes off for one picture and the photographer asked how flexible i am (and for those of you who don't know me very well...i'm NOT flexible at all....) and jessica told her i was really flexible. she told me to put my leg up in the air on this door thing. it was CRAZY but i think i'm really gunna like how it turns out. then there's one of my with my arms crossed and it was, like, the ONLY one that she didn't have to move me a million times to get me into the position she wanted. it must do it often cuz it seemed pretty natural (except the whole "chin out, out, out, out, OUT!, and down. CHIN OUT!"). ANYWAY...i have to wait a week and a half to two weeks...and it's gunna kill me cuz i wanna see them NOW! oh well...i'll get over it, i hope! oh, DUDE, jessica and i got three pictures together as well! those will (hopefully) turn out really nicely! :)
THE ANTICIPATION IS KILLING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
11:49 PM
vendredi, décembre 13, 2002
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oh wow...it's a little late (not too late, but a little) and i just did almost all of my out of the silent planet ltd questions. goodness...it was a LONG day when i got home. (not long enough, actually i guess...) i had to cook tonight so i can not get a 50 on my lab in nutrition so i had to run to the store and get some chicken cuz i forgot to take out the stuff we had here this morning so it would be thawed. that was...fun?! yeah. then for 2 hrs straight i was running around in the kitchen cutting, stiring, mixing, baking, cleaning, etc. trying to get this finished. my mom and dad went to a christmas party for my dad's office tonight so david and i ordered pizza so the dinner i made tonight (krispied oven chicken and broccoli/cheese casserole) is for tomorrow (or dinner tonight since it's now friday not thursday). we've got that holiday dance thing for band and i kinna want to go, but i think i'd rather go do some gift shopping (since i haven't started getting christmas gifts and i have a few b-day presents i need to get) and i need to get my reviews for finals done as well. i dunno when i'm going to have time for all this...i wish we had a TRUE dead WEEK not just dead day. i think we should get our reviews earlier than we do so we can have more time to do them. thank goodness my nutrition teacher gave us her answer sheet to copy so we don't have to do that...just have to study. now if only mrs. ishee would do the same. but it's not going to happen. oh well, it's a nice thought. i'm kinna in LOTS of trouble with that class and pre-cal, though. i was looking over the precal review and i can't remember how to do more than half of the stuff. the anatomy stuff i didn't know to start with, though, so i guess i can't really cry and complain about that one. but i have to do that review...then REALLY REALLY study. she said we all have to get 85s and above on that final cuz she gave us all the answers. (she says that's how the tests are too...but i don't see any resemblance at all to the study guides and the tests.) oh well...i'll live! just think, all i have to do is get through this next week and then i don't have to take any more finals (as long as i don't get too many abs or anything...and ihave to get 80+ or i can't exempt...) well...it's off to...try to do some anatomy review before i hit the sack. i'm not really all that tired cuz i fell asleep on the couch after eating dinner so, yeah! but as soon as i get in bed i'll be RIGHT out! (or close enough) anyway, hope everyone's having a good week!!!!! IT'S ALMOST THE WEEKEND!!!
1:42 AM
mercredi, décembre 11, 2002
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got this from my brother...hope y'all enjoy it as much as i did!
if you want someone who will do anything to please you, get a dog.
if you want someone who will bring you the newspaper without tearing through it first for the sports page, get a dog.
if you want someone who will make a total fool of himself because he's glad to see you, get a dog.
if you want someone who eats whatever you put in front of him and never says his mother made it better, get a dog.
if you want someone who never touches the remote, couldn't care less about monday night football, and watches dramatic movies with you as long as you want, get a dog.
if you want someone who will be content just to snuggle up and keep you warm in bed, and whom you can kick out of bed if he slobbers and snores, get a dog.
if you want someone who never criticizes anything you do, doesn't care how good or bad you look, acts as though every word you say is worth hearing, never complains and loves you unconditionally all the time, get a dog!
on the other hand...if you want someone who never comes when you call him, totally ignores you when you walk in the room, leaves hair all over the place, walks all over you, prowls around all night and comes home only to eat and sleep all day, and acts as though you are there only to see that he's happy...
GET A CAT!
(i like that one!!!! hehe...hope it made you smile!)
6:40 PM
mardi, décembre 10, 2002
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hahaha...today was the holiday concert for all the bands. yeah, we kinna fell apart on most of the pieces cuz one unnamed TURTLE doesn't let us run all the way through any music before the first concert. kinna retarded if you ask me, but noone did. i love my section...we're so...weird!! so katie, nichole and i all switched shoes...so we each had two different shoes. i ended up with one of nichole's and one of katie's and i almost fell going up the stairs before the concert. i would have laughed really hard had i actually fallen on my face.
i dunno what else happened today to tell about... i guess my life is just too boring to write about in here. i'm such a HORRIBLE person..and that's no fun for me. :( but anyway...yeah! i'm going to bed in a little bit so good night!
11:33 PM
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THE PLAY WAS AWESOME!!! for those of you who didn't go see it...shame on you. it was well worth the $7 and not doing any homework to do it. (that's not entirely true...i did the english essay thing for the play.) anyway...yeah.
amazing how the weather can have such an influence on attitudes and such. it was so cold and rainy today...oops! my tires had a little trouble starting today...they kinna made a burnt rubber smell as we left the parking lot?! i hope it's all good! j/k
so, i had school then after school i helped decorate the band hall for christmas (or the holidays), even though i'm sure noone really wanted me to be there. we started around 3 i guess and didn't finish until a 6-ish. IF ANYONE TEARS DOWN OUR DECORATIONS I'M GUNNA KILL 'EM PERSONALLY! (just like something tc said today...jacob...).
oh my goodnes...a part of selma broke off today as i was putting her down to play one of our pieces. i couldn't believe it. well, that's not true. i told tc at the beginning of class taht the peice was going to fall off and he said "oh, it's ok. you don't relaly need that piece to play anyway." so it fell off and i was kinna like "OH!!! WHAT HAVE I DONE!" while katie and nichol laughed at me. then after school i was looking for tc to see what he wanted me to do aobut it and i couldn't find him so i told gresens what happened and his eyes got REALLY big when i told him that tc said it was ok and that i wasn't going to need to piece to play. He took it and...yeah. i guess that's probably the end. anyway...i'm falling asleep as we speak, so i'll just write more later! hope all's well for everone else!!!!
12:20 AM
dimanche, décembre 08, 2002
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i wish i had something really cheerful to write about, but i can't think of too much good. ya know how that feels? i'm REALLY happy, however, to say that michael and i are actually talking. i mean, we don't talk in person but we do online...a little. but i guess that's all i can hope for right now. i'm not going to push anything cuz i want to at least be friends.
well....perhaps someone else has had a better day that i have? oh well...i'm going to go to bed soon...so everyone have a great...life?! if anyone even still reads this thing.
10:33 PM
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have you ever had one of those days where you feel like everything's going wrong and you can't seem to figure out where it started from? then something kinna good happens then something REALLY wrong happens? yeah, that's kind of how my week has been. what do you do in a situation like that? i'm kind of out of ideas. i've tried ignoring the bad, pretending it didn't happen or it doesn't bother me, but it hurts more to pretend i don't care than to just face the truth. i'm running out of ideas as to what to do. if y'all have any ideas as to how i can...get over (?!) everything that's going on feel free to tell me. i'd love to know!
email me: swimfly816@hotmail.com
6:15 PM
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oh...i'm haven't been doing a very good job with the school count-down have i? 6.5 more days (or 10 more days...however you want to look at it!)
1:37 PM
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just made a new blog thing...for quotes and whatnot...so i don't have to do them here... http://poemsandquotes.blogspot.com/
have a great day!!!
1:34 PM
samedi, décembre 07, 2002
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so...today was region band try-outs. results kinna sucked for katie and i (well...she did great but the judges...i don't know) but it's all ok. she got 3rd which is one away from area. we think the judges played rock-paper-scissors because the top three were SOO close it really was a toss-up as to who goes where, ya know? oh well. good job to everyone that tried out!
anyway...so ahn gave me this poem book thing and...well...yeah. i got some in here i want to write, so...yes...here it goes!
have you ever wondered which hurts most, saying someting and wishing you hadn't or saying nothing and wishing you had?
i pretend to be happy because he's happy but how can i be happy knowing that i'm not the one making him smile?
i dropped a tear in the ocean. when they find it, i will stop loving you.
until there was you, i cried myself to sleep...
while i had you, i fell asleep with a gentle smile on my face...
before i lost you, i worried myself to sleep...
now that i know you're gone, i sit up at night waiting for you to come back.
there's soo much i can't say
when i look into your eyes.
i'm worried you'll reject me
and hurt my foolish pride.
each day this love grows stronger,
but i could never let you know.
there's so much behind my smile
that i could never show.
i'd hold you for a lifetime,
if you would let me in.
i'd love you like no other,
but you don't understand.
everytime i see you
you are holding her.
the pain is like a knife
cutting deep into my soul.
so i'll dream of us together,
of just how it could be.
and all that you are will remain
a silent part of me.
10:02 PM
jeudi, décembre 05, 2002
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I HATE WRITING PAPERS! perhaps if i wasn't always waiting until the last minute, however, they wouldn't be quite so bad. ya think that has anything to do with my hatred? maybe...
this is from ginger...i stole it from her profile!!!!
i know i should tell you how i feel
i wish everyone would disappear
everytime you're with me
i just get to be me
and im too shy to say
ive got a crush on you
i hope you feel the way that i do
i get a rush when im with you
ive got a crush on you
you know im the one you can talk to
sometimes you tell me things that i dont want to know
i just want to hold you
you say exactly how you feel about her
i wonder could you ever think of me that way
ive got a crush on you
goes out to someone really special though he will probably never read it. hopefully, however, if he DOES read it he will know it's to him and that i really DO care about him like i've tried to say i do before. anyway...gotta go do more anatomy paper!
11:49 PM
mercredi, décembre 04, 2002
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i went to church today after my lesson...it was nice! (the chapel was FREEZING, though) not much else to say. i'm REALLY nervous about region band. mr.zawadski stared at me while i was playing the hardest part (for the contra) and he said if i could play it for him (since he scares me) i could play it for anyone. too bad i didn't play it right, huh? oh well. anyway...that's it! i'm going now!
9:26 PM
mardi, décembre 03, 2002
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blah blah blah!
6:20 PM
lundi, décembre 02, 2002
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okey dokey...JUST FOR EVERYONE TO KNOW... (for those of you that care...) MICHAEL AND I DIDN'T BREAK UP! WE ARE STILL TOGETHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! no more askin' ok? j/k. anyway...like i said...we're together so...yeah! that's all i have to say right now! i gotta go do some homework. i'm wayy behind...oops!
oh...and for the countdown:
10.5 days left of school! (or 14 of you that like to think of all the days as full days)
7:47 PM
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leah says she wants: 1. Spiderman Movie, 2. Harry Potter Movie, 3. Red Alert 2, 4. Stretch Jeans, 5. Books (to read)
4:45 PM
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oh...i almost forgot... the quote for today is:
"mom, if you want me to hate her i will."
12:02 AM
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ugh...and the break is over. I DON'T WANNA GO TO SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!! as i sit here i'm watching the stepmom. nothing else to do cuz michael left me and he was the only one on talking to me. : ( it's a sad movie. for those of you seniors, rebecca was on today. i know some classes are watching it this week, but...yeah. just fyi. the movie isn't much like the book. i mean, it follows the same path for the most part but some things are mixed up and everything. oh well...it's a movie, what can you expect?
have you ever felt like there was something you needed to do but you didn't know how to do it? like a certain way you're supposed to act in a certain situation but you don't know if you can go through with it once you get there? i dunno why that question just popped into my head but it did. kinna random, huh? hehe! well...yeah!
15 SCHOOL DAYS LEFT OF FIRST SEMESTER! (well...11.5 days and 3.5 days of finals but that actually calculates into 2 days cuz it's 2 half days and 2 quarter days. interesting how i figure that, huh?)
everyone needs to send their christmas wish lists this way! i'm gunna do a poll...see what the most wanted thing by teenagers this year is. this is the only way i can think to do it hehe. well...michael told me i had to go to bed when he got off and that was almost 15 minutes ago, so i'm gunna obey him now! HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY/NIGHT (depending on when you read it)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
12:02 AM
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