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OH THE DRAMA...
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dimanche, mai 09, 2004
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well, i went to college station (yes, again) today to help move jen from apartment A to B. i didn't get to do very much...not strong enough...always in the way... sometimes i just want to hate myself for things like that, but...oh well...i guess that's just how i am. damn...one of these days i'm NOT going to be in the way and i'm actually going to be good for someone somewhere...i hope...
i threw up tonight. i'm not really sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but...i did it nevertheless. GROSS, but something that i've needed to do for...oh...a LONG time. *sigh* it's such an amazing feeling to not beable to stand the pain any longer...to not be able to stand or walk or look at food (and i went out to dinner...bar b q...)...to just want to die you hurt so badly and not but 2 minutes later (once it's outta you) to feel like you've never felt better (except the nastiness in your mouth and on your hand...and outside your car...). however, that feeling only lasts until the NEXT ouchy comes along...
i FINALLY got to talk to matt tonight...it's really nice to...well...yeah. *butterflies* i miss him soo much...it's going to be a great summer as long as i don't screw things up... haha...who am i kidding?! i screw everything up. i'm SUCH a hypocrite, but at least in my last blog i noted that it was just as my to me as the next guy/girl. i just...i hope he knows how much i like him and how much i really want this to work. and i hope he's the guy that won't let me push him away...at least not too far... but he's pretty good about putting me in my place which is something no one has ever SERIOUSLY done to me before. but it's a REALLY good thing, so i think that's going to be a major positive...if things work out...and if i don't screw up...
oh...the meet went well. we don't have any legal 7-8 breaststrokers but...man...we only have 5 days to get at LEAST one legal for the medly relay...
chris: TWO DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!
matt: 12 days
12:32 AM
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