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OH THE DRAMA...
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lundi, janvier 03, 2005
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ok, so i'm reading this book that my mom gave me called "What I Wish I'd Known Before I Got Married" (something i thought i would hate) and it turns out it's actually a really interesting book. i mean, most of the things in it are common sense things, but some things are put in a way i never thought of before.
from this book, i have two passages that i want to share.
the first is a passage from the book nancy reagan wrote titled "I Love You, Ronnie". in this book, mrs. reagan included a letter that her husband wrote to her and one of the passages stood out to both the author of the book i'm reading (kay coles james) and to me. in the letter, he wrote, "If I ache, it's because we are apart and yet that can't be because you are inside and a part of me, so we really aren't apart at all. Yet, I ache but wouldn't be without the ache, because that would mean being without you and that I can't be because I love you."
how POWERFUL that is. and how BEAUTIFUL it is. wouldn't every woman love to have someone write something so amazing about her? i know i sure would!
then the second one...
how to be a good wife--the 1950 version
1. have dinner ready: plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal--on time. this is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about is needs. most men are hungry when they come home, and the prospects of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.
2. prepare yourself: take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. touch up your make up, put a ribbon in your hair, and be fresh looking. he has just been with a lot of work-weary people. be a little gay and a little more interesting. his boring day may need a lift.
3. clear away the clutter: make one last trip through the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. then run a dust cloth over the tables. your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too.
4. prepare the children: take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces if they are small, comb their hair, and if necesary change their clothes. they are little treasures, and he would like to see them playing the part.
5. minimize the noise: at the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of washer, dryer, or vacuum. encourage the children to be quite. be happy to see him. greet his with a warm smile and be glad to see him.
6. some don'ts: don't greet him with problems or complaints. don't complain if he's late for dinner. count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.
7. make him comfortable: have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedrom. have a cool or warm drink ready for him. arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. speak in a low, soft, soothing, and pleasant voice. allow him to relax and unwind.
8. listen to him: you may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. let him talk first.
9. make the evening his: never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment; instead, try to tunderstand his world of strain and pressure, and his need to be home and relax.
10. the goal: try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can relax.
-author unknown
how to be a good wife--the 21st century version
1. have dinner ready: make reservations ahead of time. if your day becomes too hectic, just leave him a voicemail message regarding where you'd like to eat and at what time. this lets him know that your day has been crazy and gives him an opportunity to change your mood.
2. prepare yourself: a quick stop at the loncome counter on your way home will do wonders for your outlook and will keep you from becoming irritated everytime he opens his mouth. (don't forget his credit card!)
3. clear away the clutter: call the housekeeper and tell her that any miscellaneous items left on the floor by the children can be placed in the Goodwill box in the garage.
4. prepare the children: send the children to their rooms to watch tv or play video games.
5. minimize the noise: if you happen to be home when he arrives, be in the bathroom with the door locked.
6. some don'ts: don't greet him with problems and complaints. let him speak first, and then your complaints will get more attention and remain fresh in his mind throughout dinner. don't complain if he's later for dinner, simply remind him that the leftovers are in the fridge and you left the dishes for him to do.
7. make him comfortable: tell him where he can find a blanket if he's cold. this will really show you care.
8. listen to him--but don't ever let him get the last word.
9. make the evening his: never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or other places of entertainment; go with a friend or go shopping (use his credit card). familiarize him with the phrase "girls' night out!"
10. the goal: try to keep things amicable without reminding him that he only thinks the world revolves around him. obviously he's wrong; it revolves around you!
well...that's it, kids! i'm tired now and it's been about an hour since i started this. time to head to bed...after i finish talking to my RA about not being back next semester...
9:58 PM
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