|
|
|
OH THE DRAMA...
|
|
| |
vendredi, mars 26, 2004
|
i've been trying to be REALLY good about it...but i just don't know if i can keep it up. i'm just getting physically and emotionally tired. i just want it ALL to go away. 96% isn't enough...99.8% isn't enough...i need all 100% gone. i just don't know how to do that. if you have any ideas, i'm really open to anything right now. i just want it to go away.
i think i've decided that the way i'm going to lose all of my best friends is by having a lot of big fights and then over something really small and stupid, the whole thing will be over. i mean...i don't know what we fought over that ended things so many years ago but while it wasn't big enough for me to remember it, i suppose it was enough to ruin 10 years... and those i've lost since then simply because we didn't have classes together or stopped talking all the time. i guess that's the test of a true friend, right? "a true friend is one that walks into your life when the rest of the world walks out." oh how true that seems to be for me. *sigh* now i just need to find the person(s) who won't walk out when times get tough.
"sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me." i wish i believed that. when i was 5 i think i probably did...100%. i could convince myself that what people said didn't bother me. the fact that david fitzgerald didn't like me causing the rest of my second grade class not to like me didn't bother me because i knew i had other friends. it seems like the older i've gotten, however, the more words effect me. i can't help but remember what you said to me and how much it hurts...and wish that you didn't mean it and that this was just a "moment" but no matter how much i hope, i know you meant it all and that you're not going to say you're sorry. maybe that's because i should be sorry too...or maybe it's for the better this way...
12:50 PM
|
|
| |
|
|
|
