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OH THE DRAMA...
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mercredi, mars 31, 2004
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it was a karen day. i went with her to bahama bucks and got erin a snowcone then went with karen to the chi-o powder puff game. that was fun to watch. sarah got hurt...that was bad...she's their most bestest player! but i think she'll be ok. i got to see britt today. haven't really hung out with her much since she hurt her knee. i hope she's feeling better, though. *sigh* ooooh...karen LOVES her cd. we were blastin' it to and from everywhere we went today in her little ADORABLE bug! *YAY!* after that, i came back and talked online, took a shower, ate dinner...karen and i went to the library. just fyi..the little rooms on the 7th floor are the only ones with windows. karen was on speakerphone with at&t in the room tonight and...it was MEAN! brian...if you EVER read this...you're a butt nugget. you were VERY stupido and should not get paid for that phone call. i think i will write a letter and complain about you...stupid boy...*ugh* soooo...we finish in the library (yes, we DID work) and i went with karen to jones to get some (yucky) food then i went with her to jimmy and _____'s room to see them (they live in jackson) then we went to our separate dorms. I LOVE YOU, KAREN!!!! YOU'RE THE COOLEST...except for my kick bum roommate ERIN!!!!!!!!!!! :-D (she's the greatest in the whole wide world. you should all be incredibly jealous!)
oh...yes...i KNOW i've changed. i think everyone has changed since last year. if you think it's bad, tell me WHY it's bad and what you don't like about it. don't just tell me that i've changed. i'm in a different place now with different people and different interests. that doesn't mean that you are not still a very important part of my life, or my past, but it does mean that things may be different between us from now on. don't try to fight it, though, because it's just going to create more drama. (and that, of course, is something that i'm trying really hard to get away from. now that my "baggage" is gone and out of my life, i think the drama is going with it!)
if this offends anyone you can do one of two things:
1.) read this and get offended
-OR-
2.) tell me.
the choice is yours and yours alone...
11:51 PM
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soooooo...erin and i were on our way to target. there are two birds kind of fighting in the street and she FIGURED they would move, right? (cuz birds move...usually...) well...she kept driving and the flew alright, INTO THE CAR! goodness...thank goodness they didn't HIT the car but they sure did fly into us. we both screamed, looked at each other and couldn't help but laugh. wow...that was scary. haha...anyway...that was fun...
3:07 PM
mardi, mars 30, 2004
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awww...i LOVE erin and karen! we went to the river today (not sewell park) and had lots of fun. I DROVE CONNIE!!!!!! :-D she enjoyed it, i think. karen says when we go, i have to drive cuz we can put the top down and...it's nice backroads!
so we're out there TRYING to tan, but i'm horrible about sitting still for along time so we all went over to the waterfall and walked along the edge. we got in the water (VERY cold, but very refreshing) and swam around for a little bit. karen says she doens't know how to swim. erin and i were REALLY shocked (since we're both swimmers and have known how since...as long as we can remember) but we had a conversation about that one night. about how can you not know how to swim. then karen went back to the towels and erin and i slid our big behinds down the waterfall where there were three cuties. (they had been throwing a football before that and i was SOOO tempted to ask if i could play to. i miss throwing a ftball with my baby brother.) erin and i climbed BACK up the waterfall to the other side and swam around a little then got out and walked back over to where karen was. aaanyway, we had LOTS of fun. i love those two! they're my favoritest girls up here!
we're gunna go to bahama bucks later tonight (after the chi-o meeting) and i'm really really REALLY excited about it. as for now, erin's going to orchesis, karen's going to chi-o and i'm going to the library after a shower.
5:21 PM
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for those of you who read the away message yesterday, i actually got LOTS of fun responses about it. it was one of the first time's i've come back from being away and had lots of messages. maybe i should talk about that kind of stuff more often. thanks for all the funny stories y'all shared with me. it's nice to know i'm not the only one that feels that way! haha...mike...haha...
11:05 AM
lundi, mars 29, 2004
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zachshack610: OODLES OF NOODLES!!!
SwimFly816: YAY
7:57 PM
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erin, karen and i went to marble slab tonight to get some ice cream and erin asked karen how she eats her's. karen told her that she licks as far down as she can go before she bites into the cone and proceeded to show us what she meant by this. not long after we got into the car, karen said that she thinks she eats her ice cream like that because she's got a really long tongue and stuck it out for us to see. she has a long, thin one; erin has a short, thin one; i have a short, fat one.
me: well, at least my tongue fits the rest of my body!
karen: i wish i looked like my tongue!
erin: right, i know!
7:40 PM
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i'm having a fat, ugly day. there's a girl on dr. phil right now who is saying EXACTLY how i feel. amazing how that works, huh?
you know what's GREAT?! i talked to richard last night for the first time since...i don't know when and since then we've talked almost all day! AND he said he's gunna call me again tomorrow!!! i'm sooo excited. he said he was frying in the desert sun. i wanna see him...i miss my brother.
3:49 PM
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"A kiss is a kiss, till you find the one you love...a hug is just a hug till it's the one you're thinkin of...a dream is just a dream till you make it come true...love is just a word till it's proven to you."
10:13 AM
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this one's from karen...
"why can't a guy just know...know that a girl needs a guy to look her in the eyes and play with her hair and just not say anything...just love her???"
9:56 AM
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don't play with my feelings, don't mess with my emotions. just tell me how you feel. be straight forward with me. i'm really not into the "let's play games" anymore because i've been more than hurt by those before.
i went to the library tonight with mike, erin and karen! we were there for 3 hrs and i only did, like, 7 flashcards. wow...we were very loud for being in the library! we called richard while we were in there (because karen thinks he's a looker) and ended up putting him on her speaker phone! that was...fun. uh...what else? mike made fun of me a lot, we made fun of mike a lot. he's lutherean, though, so it's all ok! (inside joke, guys, i have NOTHING against people from ANY denomination.) oh...haha...yeah. so mike was telling us a story about the day that mike and i were in there earlier this week about the security-type guy that told us not to talk. ok, so there are 7 floors to our library, just so you know. mike and the security guy are on the elevator together and the guy decides to tell mike a story about when he first started working at the library. (mike, you're gunna have to correct me if i screw this up, which i probably will.) apparently the other guys said something about not forgetting the 8th floor or something so he told mike that he really wished the elevator went to the 8th floor. mike, knowing there were only 7 floors, was a little confused but what can you do? so the guy continues to tell about how they told him that he'd have to take the stairs up to the 8th so he did and it was the roof. (that's it.) good story, huh? man...some people...
aNOTHER mike story (sorry, kiddo, i'm stealin all your glory time):
he was coming to meet us on the 7th floor and got into an elevator with some drunk people who told him that they were drunk and had nothing better to be doing so they were in the library riding the elevators. the stopped on every floor and did that thing where you jump before you land so you...don't land?! and they rang the little bell thingy at every floor and so on. they asked mike to do it as well and when he pretended to, they got all excited. haha...then he told us about it. i told them that when i get drunk, i'm gunna go to the library and ride the elevators! (then they all said they were gunna get me drunk and yah dah yah.) man, i hate elevators sober. i don't think you could get me into one drunk unless i was passed out or something.
anyway, it's time to go nighty night. i'm not gunna make it to swimming tomorrow morning...i think i'm getting fat because i'm eating like i AM swimming...but i'm not swimming...bad thing to do...
2:39 AM
dimanche, mars 28, 2004
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YOU'RE SO VAIN
You walked into the party like you were walking onto a yacht
Your hat strategically dipped below one eye
Your scarf it was apricot
You had one eye in the mirror as you watched yourself gavotte
And all the girls dreamed that they'd be your partner
They'd be your partner, and...
You're so vain, you probably think this song is about you
You're so vain, I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't You?
You had me several years ago when I was still quite naive
Well you said that we made such a pretty pair
And that you would never leave
But you gave away the things you loved and one of them was me
I had some dreams, they were clouds in my coffee
Clouds in my coffee, and...
You're so vain, you probably think this song is about you
You're so vain, I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't You? Don't You?
Well I hear you went up to Saratoga and your horse naturally won
Then you flew your lear jet up to Nova Scotia
To see the total eclipse of the sun
Well you're where you should be all the time
And when you're not you're with
Some underworld spy or the wife from a close friend
Wife from a close friend, and...
You're so vain, you probably think this song is about you
You're so vain, I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't You? Don't you?
6:06 PM
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zachshack610: we should make another club
zachshack610: club for people who feel like crap due to screwed up relationships and involvement with other people
zachshack610: c.p.w.f.l.c.d.s.u.r.i.w.o.p.
if you wanna join, let us know! we're gunna make shirts this summer (when i FINALLY get home)!!!
4:51 PM
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life sucks. i wanna die.
4:03 PM
samedi, mars 27, 2004
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erin's the greatest. she bought me a smoothie. i'm in my happy place now!
3:17 PM
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every single moment in your life is unique. nothing will ever happen in exactly the same way ever again, only once will you get that kiss, that sunset or that dance in the history of the entire universe.
2:07 PM
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today was bobcat build...yeah...THAT was fun... :( ok, i got there and couldn't sign in because rebecca was the contact person for fanatics so i waited around for everyone else to get there (which wasn't a big deal). melissa, mike, becca and jess all showed up together and we got our assigment and our shirts. YAY!!! ANOTHER T-SHIRT!!! I LOVE COLLEGE!!! then we went to get our equipment for the job (NOT the one that we were supposed to have, might i add) but they didn't have anything for us. they told us that we'd have to wait for everyone else to leave to go to their job sites and then go back again to see if they had anything left over for us. goodness...all we needed were some gloves...and there were only 6 of us. *sigh* then we FINALLY got some gloves after a long exhausting hunt for them and we were off (30 minutes late). it took us about 2 minutes to get there but once we DID get there, they couldn't let us in the gate because they had NO idea that we were even going to be there. call to verify that we were allowed in, make us give drivers license and insurance...10 minutes later we're in...FINALLY... so we go to this building and the lady doesn't really have stuff for us to do so you can tell she's searching for something for us to do so melissa, jess and some girl from another group are going to stay at the office and make packets while mike, krysten, mike, jeana and i went to some place to do "yard work". we got there and some lady told us to prune the shrubs and pick up leaves. yeah...that was...fun. we did that for maybe 30 minutes (by this time it's 11:30) and got fed up so we went back to join the other people and...yeah. anyway, it sucked, but i still wanna try it again next semester.
2:06 PM
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, VAL!!!!!!!!!!!! i hope you have a great birthday! do something FUN!!!
12:02 AM
vendredi, mars 26, 2004
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so i was SOOO excited when i went to check my mail today because the LONG awaited all region band cd came in. i FINALLY have my own copy of blue shades!!!! not only that, but my little katie has a NICE bscl solo in it! the link to blue shades is the navy band playing it, but i'm sure some of you have never heard of it before and if that's the case...i suggest you give it a go. it's amazing. it takes an amazing solo clarinetist to play the...well...solo line at the end. *wow* freshman year, max teets was the soloist and...yeah. i'll never forget how in awe of him i was. (course i'm a crappy clarinetist and not much better on bscl or selma, but...wow...) anyway, i'm all excited about listening to it, so i thought i'd at least pass on the enthusiasm!!!
8:35 PM
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i've been trying to be REALLY good about it...but i just don't know if i can keep it up. i'm just getting physically and emotionally tired. i just want it ALL to go away. 96% isn't enough...99.8% isn't enough...i need all 100% gone. i just don't know how to do that. if you have any ideas, i'm really open to anything right now. i just want it to go away.
i think i've decided that the way i'm going to lose all of my best friends is by having a lot of big fights and then over something really small and stupid, the whole thing will be over. i mean...i don't know what we fought over that ended things so many years ago but while it wasn't big enough for me to remember it, i suppose it was enough to ruin 10 years... and those i've lost since then simply because we didn't have classes together or stopped talking all the time. i guess that's the test of a true friend, right? "a true friend is one that walks into your life when the rest of the world walks out." oh how true that seems to be for me. *sigh* now i just need to find the person(s) who won't walk out when times get tough.
"sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me." i wish i believed that. when i was 5 i think i probably did...100%. i could convince myself that what people said didn't bother me. the fact that david fitzgerald didn't like me causing the rest of my second grade class not to like me didn't bother me because i knew i had other friends. it seems like the older i've gotten, however, the more words effect me. i can't help but remember what you said to me and how much it hurts...and wish that you didn't mean it and that this was just a "moment" but no matter how much i hope, i know you meant it all and that you're not going to say you're sorry. maybe that's because i should be sorry too...or maybe it's for the better this way...
12:50 PM
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again, something i stole from matt...hope he doesn't mind... (if so, just let me know.) now, this is kind of depressing, but...it's good.
sometimes i've been wondering if good times fade away
and things always turn out this way
you're one of the many things that make me face the day
i'm so glad you're here with me
it's not your fault that you're in pain
i just can't explain what you mean to me
meant what i said
meant what i did
it's all for you
and then i tried to look inside, look in my own head
i realized something wasn't there
then i saw your face staring back at me
and everything was falling into place
it's not your fault that you're in pain
i'm glad things have turned out this way
i can't explain what you mean to me
cause you've always been there for me
meant what I said
meant what I did
it's all for you
i'll try and be there for you
10:17 AM
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my horoscope for today...
"What you lose in profits you gain back in peace of mind. Obviously you're still too unpolished for the big time. The person that cheated you deserves thanks for saving you from even more grief."
sooo...thanks to those of you who cheated me...
8:15 AM
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In April, Maya Angelou was interviewed by Oprah on her 70+ birthday. Maya really is a marvel who has led quite an interesting and exciting life. Oprah asked her what she thought of growing older. And, there on television, she said it was "exciting." Regarding body changes, she said there were many, occurring everyday...like her breasts. They seem to be in a race to see which will reach her waist, first. The audience laughed so hard they cried. She is such a simple and honest woman, with so much wisdom in her words. "I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life. I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as making a "life." I've learned that life sometimes gives you second chance. I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back.
"I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one. I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I've learned that I still have a lot to learn. I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. "
8:07 AM
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austin last night was fun. the opera was...long (3 and a half hours) but it was worth it because i don't have to write my second critique now. and not only that, but mike and i spent 2 hrs together last night just talking. it was great! awww...i luv you, mike! i got in at 1-ish so getting up for practice this morning was...interesting... the alarm went off (like it does every morning-except wednesdays) at 5:32 but instead of getting (like i usually do) i turned it off and rolled back over. now, don't get me wrong, i KNEW i had to get up because my car was parking in alkek which means it has to be moved by 7 or i get a ticket (and the parking patrol is really cracking down on alkek cars) but 4 and a half hrs of sleep just wasn't doin it for me.
5:44 i look up and roll outta bed, grab my contacts and suit, and head for the bathroom trying OH SO HARD not to make a sound so that erin can continue to sleep. mission accomplished! (...i think...) man...i'm sure there is something that happened last night, or yesterday for that matter, that would be worth blogging but at the moment i can't think of a single one. how pathetic is that?! *sigh* oh well.
mike-thanks for all the messages last night! 18...i WAS asleep just didn't change my away message because i decided that getting right to bed was a little more important. hope you understand! thanks for the ice cream!!!!!!!!!!
7:50 AM
jeudi, mars 25, 2004
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so i'm standing on the table in my taping class today while tamisha is putting prewrap around my knee (and 6" above and below) to do the knee tape-thing we're doing and the table starts vibrating. (obviously a cell phone vibrating from a text message.) i ALMOST said something to her because she usually texts someone when she gets to class but decided not to because she hadn't heard it and we didn't need to get in trouble for it (not that i think tracy would have cared, but yeah...). anyway, at the end of class we were both sitting down (in chairs) and the vibrating starts again. this time, however, i can tell that it's my phone so i take it out of my backpack and look to see who sent me TWO text messages. while it's nice to get a message that says "good morning gorgeous!" it's a little freaky when you don't know who it's coming from. now, had it been a 281 or 832 or 713 number i would have felt a LITTLE better because that could be someone from home (perhaps in/from band) that i just don't have saved in my phone. but, no, this one was from an area code that i've never seen before. 254...where is that?! i know that 255 is baton rouge (or parts of it) but...man, i got really confused. soooo, i decided to text the texter back and ask who it was. now that i know, it's all good but i was VERY confused (and a big freaked out) at first. just wanted to blog. yay!
11:14 AM
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One day Satan and Jesus were having a conversation. Satan had just come from the Garden of Eden, and he was gloating and boasting. "Yes, sir, I just caught the world full of people down there. Set me a trap used bait I knew they couldn't resist. Got 'em all!"
"What are you going to do with them?" Jesus asked.
Satan replied, "Oh, I'm gonna have fun! I'm gonna teach them how to marry and divorce each other, how to hate and abuse each other, how to drink and smoke and curse. I'm gonna teach them how to invent guns and bombs and kill each other. I'm really gonna have fun!"
"And what will you do when you get done with them?" Jesus asked.
"Oh, I'll kill 'em," Satan glared proudly.
"How much do you want for them?" Jesus asked.
"Oh, you don't want those people. They ain't no good. Why, you'll take them and they'll just hate you. They'll spit on you, curse you and kill you!! You don't want those people!!"
"How much?" He asked again.
Satan looked at Jesus and sneered, "All your tears, and all your blood."
Jesus said, "DONE!" Then He paid the price.
Isn't it funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder
why the world's going to hell.
Isn't it funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what
the Bible says.
Isn't it funny how everyone wants to go to heaven provided they do not have to believe, think, say, or do anything the Bible says.
Or is it scary?
Isn't it funny how someone can say "I believe in God" but still follow Satan (who, by the way, also "believes" in God ).
Isn't it funny how you can send a thousand jokes through e-mail and! they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing.
Isn't it funny how the lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but the public discussion of Jesus is suppressed in the school and workplace.
Isn't it funny how someone can be so fired up for Christ on Sunday, but be an invisible Christian the rest of the week.
Are you laughing?
Isn't it funny how when you go to forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it to them.
Isn't it funny how I can be more worried about what other people think of me than what God thinks of me.
11:03 AM
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Our Father Who Art In Heaven.
YES?
Don't interrupt me.. I'm praying.
BUT -- YOU CALLED ME !!
Called you? No, I didn't call you. I'm praying. Our Father who art in heaven.
THERE -- YOU DID IT AGAIN
Did what?
CALLED ME. YOU SAID, "OUR FATHER WHO ART IN HEAVEN" WELL HERE I AM. WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?
But I didn't mean anything by it. I was, you know, just saying my prayers for the day. I always say the Lord's Prayer. It makes me feel good, kind of like fulfilling a duty.
WELL, ALL RIGHT. GO ON.
Okay, Hallowed be Thy name...
HOLD IT RIGHT THERE. WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?
By what?
BY "HALLOWED BE THY NAME"?
It means, it means ...... good grief, I don't know what it means. How in the world should I know? It's just a part of the prayer. By the way, what does it mean?
IT MEANS HONORED, HOLY, WONDERFUL.
Hey, that makes sense. I never thought about what 'hallowed' meant before. Thanks. Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven..
DO YOU REALLY MEAN THAT?
Sure, why not?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING ABOUT IT?
Doing? Why, nothing, I guess. I just think it would be kind of neat if you got control of everything down here like you have up there. We're kinda in a mess down here you know.
YES, I KNOW; BUT, HAVE I GOT CONTROL OF YOU?
Well, I go to church..
THAT ISN'T WHAT I ASKED YOU. WHAT ABOUT YOUR BAD TEMPER? YOU'VE REALLY GOT A PROBLEM THERE, YOU KNOW. AND THEN THERE'S THE WAY YOU SPEND YOUR MONEY --ALL ON YOURSELF.
AND WHAT ABOUT THE KIND OF BOOKS YOU READ?
Now hold on just a minute! Stop picking on me! I'm just as good as some of the rest of
those people at church!
EXCUSE ME. I THOUGHT YOU WERE PRAYING FOR MY WILL TO BE DONE. IF THAT IS TO HAPPEN, IT WILL HAVE TO START WITH THE ONES WHO ARE PRAYING FOR IT. LIKE YOU -- FOR EXAMPLE.
Oh, all right. I guess I do have some hang-ups. Now that you mention it, I could probably name some others.
SO COULD I.
I haven't thought about it very much until now, but I really would like to cut out some of those things. I would like to, you know, be really free.
GOOD. NOW WE'RE GETTING SOMEWHERE. WE'LL WORK TOGETHER -- YOU AND ME.
I'M PROUD OF YOU.
Look, Lord, if you don't mind, I need to finish up here. This is taking a lot longer than it usually does. Give us this day, our daily bread.
YOU NEED TO CUT OUT THE BREAD. YOU'RE OVERWEIGHT AS IT IS.
Hey, wait a minute! What is this? Here I was doing my religious duty, and all of a sudden you
break in and remind me of all my hang-ups.
PRAYING IS A DANGEROUS THING. YOU JUST MIGHT GET WHAT YOU ASK FOR. REMEMBER, YOU CALLED ME -- AND HERE I AM. IT'S TOO LATE TO STOP NOW. KEEP PRAYING.
..pause...
WELL, GO ON.
I'm scared to.
SCARED? OF WHAT?
I know what you'll say.
TRY ME.
Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us.
WHAT ABOUT CAROL?
See? I knew it! I knew you would bring her up! Why, Lord, she's told lies about me, spread stories.
She never paid back the money she owes me. I've sworn to get even with her!
BUT -- YOUR PRAYER -- WHAT ABOUT YOUR PRAYER?
I didn't -- mean it.
WELL, AT LEAST YOU'RE HONEST. BUT, IT'S QUITE A LOAD CARRYING AROUND ALL THAT BITTERNESS AND RESENTMENT ISN'T IT?
Yes, but I'll feel better as soon as I get even with her. Boy, have I got some plans for her. She'll wish she had never been born.
NO, YOU WON'T FEEL ANY BETTER. YOU'LL FEEL WORSE. REVENGE ISN'T SWEET. YOU KNOW HOW UNHAPPY YOU ARE -- WELL, I CAN CHANGE THAT.
You can? How?
FORGIVE CAROL. THEN, I'LL FORGIVE YOU; AND THE HATE AND SIN WILL BE CAROL'S PROBLEM -- NOT YOURS. YOU WILL HAVE SETTLED THE PROBLEM AS FAR AS YOU ARE CONCERNED.
Oh, you know, you're right. You always are. And more than I want revenge, I want to be right with You..., (sigh). All right...all right...I forgive her.
THERE NOW! WONDERFUL! HOW DO YOU FEEL?
Hmmmm. Well, not bad.. Not bad at all! In fact, I feel pretty great! You know, I don't think I'll Go to bed uptight tonight. I haven't been getting much rest, you know.
YEAH, I KNOW. BUT, YOU'RE NOT THROUGH WITH YOUR PRAYER ARE YOU? GO ON.
Oh, all right. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
GOOD! GOOD! I'LL DO THAT. JUST DON'T PUT YOURSELF IN A PLACE WHERE YOU CAN BE TEMPTED.
What do you mean by that?
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN..
Yeah. I know.
OKAY. GO AHEAD. FINISH YOUR PRAYER.
For Thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory forever. Amen.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BRING ME GLORY -- WHAT WOULD REALLY MAKE ME HAPPY?
No, but I'd like to know. I want to please you now. I've really made a mess of things. I want to truly follow you. I can see now how great that would be.. So, tell me ... how do I make you happy?
11:00 AM
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thanks for the quote, matt...
stop expecting change,
he's just a lost cause that you're waiting on,
take a look around,
you could have anyone so leave undeserving him
10:38 AM
mercredi, mars 24, 2004
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i went to the library for the first time this semester...but JUST cuz mike asked me to go with him. and i actually got a lot done. it's easier to do when you're not crammed in a little corner in your tiny dorm room. thanks, mike! then we were talking about cell phones and such (after we both kinna gave up on the whole studying thing) and some cop came up to me and told me that i couldn't be talking because we were on the "no talking floor". haha...i didn't know we HAD a no talking floor. and how are you not supposed to talk if it's a group study floor?! i thought the 2nd floor was a "no talking floor" and the 7th was a study floor. apparently i have this all backwards. thank you mr. officer for clearing that all up for me. and mike told me we're not allowed to have cell phones. good thing mines was out on top of my backpack when the cop came up to tell me to shut up. oooooh well. he just told me not to talk. NO, MATT!! I DIDN'T GET ARRESTED OR ANYTHING!!! geez...what kind of person do you think i am?!
these are getting really boring, aren't they?! i DO appologize but i just don't know what to write anymore.
tomorrow will probably be a no blog day because i have an earlier lab so i can go to austin tomorrow night for an opera. *yay* i'll try to write something...if something interesting happens...
11:26 PM
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wow...i haven't heard this song in a really REALLY long time, but it's one of my favorites, so i thought i'd post the lyrics. hope y'all enjoy it! :-D
Another You
Brad Paisley
Yesterday morning, just before noon
I passed a girl wearing your old perfume
And I stopped and stared
I could almost see you standing there
Don't get me wrong - I'm almost over you
But now and then I like to go walking through
Some of our old times
Even though I realize
I'll have another chance
I'll find another girl
I'll see another day
And I'll build another world
I'll start another life just like you told me to
And I'll find another love
But there will never be another you
Night after night I go back through the years
I sit on this porch as the sun disappears
Like we did back then
I remind myself once again
That I'll have another chance
I'll find another girl
I'll see another day
I'll build another world
I'll start another life
Just like you told me to
And I'll find another love
But there'll never be another you
Well I guess I should thank you for showing me how love should feel
I know what I'm gonna look for cuz I felt it when you held me
And I'll have another chance
I'll find another girl
I'll see another day
And I'll build another world
I'll start another life just like you told me to
I'll find another love
But there'll never be another you
Another you
7:46 PM
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so i dunno what's up. i didn't do ANYTHING yesterday except sit at my computer and lie on my bed reading a book. why on EARTH do my inner thighs and my outer butt hurt like no other? walking up and down the hill (and stairs) today has been KILLING me. now, if i had run three miles or gone to the gym and done all those crazy leg machines then i would understand and it would be a NICE ouchy feeling, but since i don't know why i hurt, it's kinna...creepy. i suppose i could have done something in the middle of the night?! sleep stretches? oh, i really haven't the slightest but...yeah.
erin and i are supposed to (let me rephrase that...were supposed to at 2) go swimming because we missed practice yesterday and don't usually go on wednesdays, but she got in bed when i left for med terms (at 12:45) and is still in there now. she was gunna get up when i got back but has hit her alarm twice and i think it's off for good now. i'll just wait for her to get up and say she's ready to go. sound like a plan to you?!
i started my defensive driving today to get rid of my gosh darn ticket. the lessons are SOOOO...ugh...yeah. and if you're just on a page for the minimum required time that doesn't guarantee that you'll have enough time at the end to move on to the next lesson. i had to sit on a page for a minute and a half just so i could move on. HOW STUPID IS THAT?! oh well...it's better than paying the ticket, i guess...even though it would have been about $30 cheaper. i better get back to it, though, so i'll update later!
2:56 PM
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man, bunkbed therapy last night was sooo great. how long has it been since last time? since before swimming, i think, right? holy moly it was soo needed though. thank you SOOOOO much for getting my mind off things. and don't you worry one bit, things are going to work out with chris. you're going to have a blast at casual and...just don't overanalyze, k? anyway, back to bunk bed therapy...this one only lasted about an hour...after we were gunna go to sleep, right? haha...turn off the tv, roll over and "miree?!" i love you, erin! you're the greatest! niiiiice story about padre, too!
so i'm talking to michael online and he wanted to know what i was doing, so told him i was blogging. i think he wanted to be in this one...
wheem03: "dear blog, michael looked at me today. The kid is sooooo darn cute! I just wish that he knew about my strong feelings for him."
8:27 AM
mardi, mars 23, 2004
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yeah...and where the hell is my f-ing "i'm sorry?" oh wait...that's right, you're too much of a bastard to give it to me. heaven forbid you admit you were wrong. you know what?
11:47 PM
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i'm stealing this from ally's blog...hope y'all enjoy it...
At an airport I overheard a father and daughter in their last moments together. They had announced her plane's departure and standing near the door, he said to his daughter, "I love you, I wish you enough". She said, "Daddy, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Daddy." They kissed good-bye and she left.
He walked over toward the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see he wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on his privacy, but he welcomed me in by asking, "Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?" "Yes, I have," I replied. Saying that brought back memories I had of expressing my love and appreciation for all my Dad had done for me. Recognizing that his days were limited, I took the time to tell! him face to face how much he meant to me. So I knew what this man was experiencing. "Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?" I asked. "I am old and she lives much too far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is, her next trip back will be for my funeral, " he said.
"When you were saying good-bye I heard you say, 'I wish you enough.' May I ask what that means?" He began to smile. "That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone." He paused for a moment and looking up as if trying to remember it in detail, he smiled even more. "When we said 'I wish you enough,' we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with enough good things to sustain them," he continued and then turning toward me he shared the following as if he were reciting it from memory. "I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright. I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more. I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive. I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger. I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting. I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess. I wish enough "Hello's" to get you through the final "Good-bye." He then began to sob and walked away.
My friends and loved ones, I wish you ENOUGH!!! They say, "It takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them."
11:37 PM
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"A smart girl kisses, but never loves, listens, but never believes, and leaves before she is left."
11:33 PM
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man oh man...what a day. all i can say is thank GOODNESS for books. isn't it great how you can dive into a book and totally forget all the horrors of the day?! ann, thanks for the book. it's been nice to hear about someone else's problems for once, but you're right. it IS me. hehe. i love how on tuesdays (right after test weeks) i don't have anything to do (except read for a subject) so i can just...do whatever i want! it's a great feeling. i practically have from 11 am til whenever i decide to go to bed to do whatever floats my boat, may it be ruining everyone's life or reading a book on my bed.
i got a picture of richard in the mail the other day from my aunt and...i miss him. i miss him a lot. i think it's been about 6 and a half months since the last time i saw him but it seems like everyone else has seen him more recently than that. i wish i could have gone to n'awlins with them but STUPID SCHOOL! *argh*
katie's such a good friend. i think she plans our conversations out...really. i could be having THE WORST day, and just talking to her about it...i dunno. let's just say after tonights i feel WAY better and...don't have any regrets. none at all. i know what i did was right and...yeah. zach, you too! y'all are soo great to talk to. i'm SOOO glad that we made such the effort last year to get to know each other because y'all (yes, all 11 of you) have been SOOO great about things. always willing to lend an ear when you know i need it. such great friends!
to those of you going to chicago:
first of all...I HATE YOU!!! I WANNA GO!!!!!!!! :( and after i'm over that, y'all have fun and be safe. (john, that means you too!) take lots of pictures and be ready to share them with everyone, k?! katie...don't get sick on us and be careful with your bscl. hold it, but don't touch it!
peanut butter makes it all better!
10:14 PM
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haha...ok. how old are we now? do we REALLY need to go back to 2nd grade or can we all just act like the college students that we are?!
if you take a crap, THAT'S FINE! everyone's gotta do it sometimes, but FLUSH THE STUPID TOILET! you don't need to save it to show us all what you can make. seriously...man...some people...
7:12 PM
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you know, people on the outside sure do see things more clearly than someone on the inside EVER could.
thanks for being the best roommate i could EVER have asked for, erin!!! i'm gunna miss you next spring when you leave me for ut.
2:09 PM
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the fanatic shirt for spring 2004...
i am a bobcat fanatic!
i don't "bleed" gold,
i see in gold!
i don't "gig 'em" or "hook 'em,"
i "eat 'em up!"
i don't yell at midnight,
i rally in the valley!
i don't sit at sporting events,
i STAND
to show the pride i have being a
TEXAS STATE BOBCAT!
11:48 AM
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today i got back my care of ath. inj. test from thursday and did surprisingly better than i thought i would. i got an 89 (which brings my average to an 86). i wanna get an A in that class, though, so i'm gunna have to suck it up and read the SOOOO many pages for the next test. i also got back my taping grade and was more than disappointed in that one. 92...just because all my tape didn't lay perfectly flat. OOOOOOOOH well...it's still an A and whether i get a 90 or a 100, it's still a 4.0 for the semester. i just have to do well on the knee (like...hiiiiiigh 90) and it won't really matter how i do on the 4th practical.
i'm the 2004-2005 bobcat fanatic treasurer! how much fun is that?! haha...hopefully more fun than i think it'll be. but either way, it was really funny how i got "elected"...infact, it was kinna funny how ALL the officers for next year got elected!
from dinner last night after the fanatic meeting:
i'm going to go out and appologize (on behalf of girls everywhere) for ever (haha...i mean always) being such a "girl". when i say "it doesn't matter, do what you want" i mean "come over PLEASE because i want to spend time with you." why don't i just say what i mean, then? because i want the decision that we're going to be spending time together to be YOURS because then i know that you're not doing it to please me (even if that's the only reason you're doing it) it's because you want to (even if it's because you know you'll get something out of it). that's the basis into a girls thoughts. mike, i EXPECT you to call me out on it!!!!!!
speaking of mike (and of course i can't forget kyle)... thanks guys! i can't wait til this weekend!!! we're gunna have sooooo much fun...i just hope you don't get TOOO fed up with me. i'll try really hard not to ask too many questions, but no promises.
11:21 AM
lundi, mars 22, 2004
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yeah...so that test only took me 10 minutes to take then i went to lbj and got pizza. yay! hmmm...what else did i do?! oh, i FINALLY got a chance to talk to erin and we told ALL about our not so fun spring breaks.
this morning i went to swim practice and swam a 3000. yeah...you read it right. it was a really fun workout, even though i think i'm back to where i was when we started swimming. i bought new fins over the break so now erin and i BOTH have a pair for those long kick sets (or whatever else elaine wants us to use them for).
ok, so i thought i was a better blogger at school but i'm really starting to wonder. maybe it's just because after the past few weeks, i don't have much else to say about anything because everything i want to say shouldn't be said...especially not on here for the world to read.
on a WAY sad note, though... erin's transfering to UT in the spring of 2005. that's next spring. that means i'll have a roommate for next fall but need to find someone to room with me next spring or i'll have to go pot luck again and...no one will EVER be as great as erin, though. as horrible as it may be for me to say it, i really hope she doesn't get accepted to ut cuz we're gunna miss her soooooo much here. but if she does, at least it's austin not lubbock! and if she does (and katie comes here) then i'll just have to find a roommate for spring of 2005 then katie and i (maybe) can room together after that. the worst part is we were all excited about getting an apartment together and now we're not going to. but the program there is REALLY what she wants to do, so good luck to her (even though i want her here). I LUV YA, ERIN!!!!!!
we have to sign-up for next years dorms today. i WOULD say i'm excited but i'm not for some reason. i guess it just seems too early. i mean...i can't believe that we only have 6 weeks left (not that i'm counting) until finals. that means in SIX WEEKS i will already have an entire year of college under my belt. i feel like i just got here. erin and i were talking earlier about how we're not at ALL looking forward to moving outta here...but at least i'll get bertha for that. we've already decided that my parents are going to bring bertha to doug, going to switch bertha for the honda, doug and jen are gunna come see me and switch connie for bertha. i'll move my stuff into bertha, take my finals and leave, go to college station and stay there until the rest of my family goes for jen's graduation and then we'll all have our own cars back again!! arn't you glad i filled you in on stuff (with "people") you don't know or care about?!
2:07 PM
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I want a man that stands beside me
Not in front of or behind me
Give me two arms that want to hold me, not own me
And I'll give all the love in my heart
Stand beside me
Be true, don't tell lies to me
I'm not lookin' for a fantasy
I want a man that who stands beside me
8:44 AM
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ERIN'S BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i haven't seen her yet, though, because she came in and left for class while i was still out from swimming this morning. i would love to blog what's REALLY on my mind but (lucky for you) i have yet to start studying for my med terms test so i have to get to that. either way, though...ERIN'S BACK!!!!!!!!!! :-D
7:57 AM
dimanche, mars 21, 2004
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it's so nice to be back at the dorm. i'm a MUCH better blogger at school than i am at home.
zach is such a great listener. some of you think he's too weird for anything, but he's really good with advice and he sure does know me well. thanks for everything, zach! i really REALLY appreciate everything you do for me.
zach and i are starting a club. we're not really very sure what to call it at this point in time, but if you wanna join just tell one of us. it's the "afraid of c and l" so zach just said the "anti c/l/m/r society". sounds good to me!!!!!!!
mike might go to the...thing i have to attend for intro to fine arts with me. how exciting is that?! that way we'd actually get to see each other again. i mean, we keep saying we're gunna get together, but we never do so maybe this will be our opportunity to do it?!
man, i had SOOO much to write about but now i can't think of any of it. oh...i met megan outside today and we got to talking and somehow we got on the topic of guys (BAD TOPIC RIGHT NOW) and she was saying that i should go with her sometime to meet her boyfriend's best friend. YAY!!! i miss getting to know guys. it's nice that i'm getting to know mike and kyle better (and at least KIND of starting to hang out with them more) but i REALLY miss guys. i'm such a freak about it probably because i have 4 brothers so i grew up around guys and i miss all that stuff. i don't know, though.
well, it's a 5:30 wake-up call for me so i better head off to bed... i REALLY wish i had studied for my test but i'll suffer through it tomorrow... :(
11:55 PM
vendredi, mars 19, 2004
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i'm not very good at blogging while i'm at home, am i? sorry... i talked to mike today! he got a cell phone so now i can call him whenever and we REALLY are gunna hang out. maybe he'll even explain all these sports things to me so i'll understand better. YAY! chris and ann come home tomorrow and i'm supposed to be having lunch with nico. katie and i went to the mall together (willowbrook and the woodlands) today. it was nice to spend some time with her again. man, i miss having her around. she said she's looking into texas state (SERIOUSLY!) for college and she's supposed to come see me sometime this semester after the chicago trip. i can't wait!!!! we'll see, though. i hope she comes and loves it because it'd be nice to have her at school with me again. it'd make it a little more difficult for us to not talk (even though it hasn't stopped katie w and i from not talking...) well, i gotta get up early to bring rob downtown so i'm gunna hit the sack.
10:00 PM
jeudi, mars 18, 2004
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david, robert and i went downtown today because robert had to do some stuff down there for the job he's got now. (by the way...if anyone's looking for a limo for prom--or anything else for that matter--and you want a good driver, let me know and i'll give you a REALLY good name!) anyway, we went down there and drove around a bit (david and i) and then parked at one of those...places...and went into the hilton to urinate then david and i walked down to where robert was and met him at subway for "lunch" and...it was great fun! man...i love my brothers!!!!! i miss them when i'm at school.
6:04 PM
mercredi, mars 17, 2004
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you know what really sucks?! crazy...ok. trying to get over someone is hard enough, right? being in the one place where there are more reminders than anywhere of the person makes it WAY harder. maybe it's a sign though?! i mean...if everywhere you turn there's another "piece" of your relationship with that person, maybe you're not supposed to get over him/her because something else is going to come. or maybe your relationship isn't going to be what you want it to be, but it will still be a relationship. oh..i just want to know how it's all going to end. does the princess end up with her prince or does she end up with the dog?! i want my prince...but does he want me?!
6:31 PM
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JARED TERRY STOPPED BY THIS MORNING!!!!!!!!!! man...it's been way too long since the last time i got to talk to him. it was really nice to see him today, but i wish it hadn't been so long since the last time. goodness he's a really sweet guy...*ugh*
i wish i wasn't able to blog right now because that would mean that i was in san antonio with the rasches BUUUUUUT since the guy from bridgestone called last night and changed my interview to today...yeah. oh well...i'll tell more about that later.
david and i went shopping today and i FINALLY got the short-sleeved shirts that i needed. i have to finish cleaning my room today, though. *yuck* it's a MESS because i'm cleaning out my closet while i'm home. (can't remember if i blogged that yesterday or not...)
oh...ok, so yesterday we didn't go downtown to look at dresses. instead jessica and i met jen at the willowbrook mall and spent 6 hrs looking at dresses (for ring dance for them...and just to look for me) and dresses (for the wedding) and shirt and skirt sets (for the wedding). for the wedding we found a dress that we like from ann taylor and a shirt set from arden b. i think i like the shirt and skirt idea better because it will "flatter my figure" better than a dress but whatever we decide is no big deal. i don't really mind either way! but i also bought 3 more dresses from foleys last night. i have NOTHING to wear them to, but it's nice to have them incase i need them for something. (i really REALLY hope i don't grow anymore or they won't fit.) the lady that rang up my sale, though, asked me if i had a boyfriend to take me out and i, of course, had to say no but it's nice to know that a random person thinks i could have a boyfriend. oh well...
so i took down the sign...but i think i have to put it back up. not having it up not only makes me feel like there's something missing in my room...it makes me feel like there's something missing in my life...someONE missing in my life. i think i'll put it back up tonight because i woke up this morning and my eyes were drawn to that part of my room and it was really freaky not having it up there. i hope it's not too late for everything to work out, but i have a feeling it is too late. but i guess that's something i'll just have to deal with. i'll live...i hope...
4:07 PM
mardi, mars 16, 2004
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sorry i didn't update yesterday. well...there's really not too much to say. i went to the doctor yesterday and (thank goodness) he gave me an "ok" so i don't know what my other doctor was talking about when he said what he said. i was really really nervous, though, but...yeah. it's nice to know that i have family and friends that will be with me when i really need them to be. made going a lot easier. (thanks ann and chris!)
i went to the woodlands mall yesterday looking for some short-sleeved shirts and a jean skirt. found some cute ones but they weren't really ones i "had to have" so i didn't get them. then ann and i went to the willowbrook mall and she was looking for a semi-formal for something she's got at school, so we looked in foleys and dillards for those. tried on about 40 between the 2 of us and i ended up getting one and she ended up getting one. i think we can both wear them both (which is nice) because that means we each got 2 new ones. mine was only $7.57 which is AMAZING for me because i'm usually the only one that can't find cute on-sale dresses...ever. i think i may wear that one to whatever the next dressy event i go to is.
jen wants to take jessica and i to some store downtown today to go looking at bridesmaids dresses. the wedding is five months as of yesterday and i'm REALLY excited!!! i told jen that if she needed any help with anything (like table decorations or invitations or whatever) to give me a call and i'd go spend the weekend with them and we could (hopefully) get lots done. she's just got SOOO much going on recently with school work and getting ready for graduation AND getting ready for this wedding. but i think she'll take me up on the offer and i'll get to see them again.
i took the sign off my wall last night. i know that NONE of you know what i'm talking about, but i took it down. it's been there longer than anything else on my walls...when my dad repainted my ceiling i took it down and put it right back up but now it's down. i REALLY hope it's not down for good, but jen and i decided that i should just give it time and things will work out, hopefully the way i want them to. when i get really mad, i want to throw it away, but then i know that i can't because it's like me saying that i'm going to throw away the best part of my past and i'm not ready to do that right now. (and that's partly because i don't want it to be my past...i want it to be my future...and the rest of my life...) too bad the person that needs to read this WON'T read this, but it's in writing if that person decides to look. *sigh* it seems like a lose lose situation but...i guess there's not too much i can do about that right now.
aaaanyway...yeah. i'm having a rather "fat day" so i think i'm going to do some crunches and then *haha* eat some food. i'll write more later about how the dress hunt goes. have a SAFE spring break!!!!
10:23 AM
samedi, mars 13, 2004
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it's SOOOOO nice to be home! wow...and i can still blog too! hehe... chris and i went out last night...that was SOO much fun and something i really needed. i got to talk about whatever i wanted (even the much dreaded monday doctor's appointment that i have told NO ONE but erin about). he's such a great listener...man, i miss not having someone like that at school. one of these days i'll find one...i have faith...kind of... aaanyway, the drive home was alright. not very sunny but i guess that's a good thing. MATT TALKED ALMOST THE WHOLE WAY HOME!!!!!!!!! i was more than excited. that boy's not a talker but somehow he kept himself going. i got home and (practically) strangled everyone in my family with big 'ol hugs. david, however, somehow got away without one. LUCKY dog him. hehe... anyway, while chris and i were at starbucks scott, kristen, and 2 of their friends showed up so they sat with us, we talked, it was all good. it feels so weird being home...i like it but i don't...i want to have all my "houston friends" at school with me.
on a totally different note: why can't we all just go to the same school? i mean, seriously... how much easier would life be if we all got to go to the same school? i'll tell you ONE thing, mine would be heaven if i was at the same school you were because then things could work out...and could have been working out this whole time. i guess it's a "test", though, right? i dunno...i think i've given up on trying to understand what's going on, but...i DID try.
anyway, i gotta go make some lunch for the family. I GET TO COOK!!!!!!!!!!!!! :-D i'll blog more later, i hope!!! have a safe weekend!
1:02 PM
vendredi, mars 12, 2004
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MORE kids on campus today. i just don't understand it...oh well.
intro to fine arts was great. we watched musical clips from movies the whole hour AND for being there when most weren't, we get 3 points extra credit...added to our FINAL average. so...if i end up with an 87...I GOT AN A!!!!!!! that's really exciting. i LOVE that prof!!!!!!!! for anyone that hasn't taken intro to fine arts at txstate and you're looking for a good, easy, FUN teacher...neely through the music department is the way to go! he doesn't give a final, just about every week you have a "test" (aka- 15-20 question quiz), he makes it fun...need i say more? and it's not "all about the music".
i have my anatomy test in about 30 minutes...can i say nervous?! i took the practice test and got all but 4 right, but i'm still really nervous. i need an A on this one to bring my average closer to an A. i want a 4.0 this semester...or at least higher than a 3.5 but we'll see what happens. i got a 91 on my anatomy practical last night. did better than i thought i did after leaving, but i thought i was going to know more going into it. i knew ALL the diagrams (for the most part) but some of the stickers were a little confusing on where they were pointing to. this time he wasn't as helpful as he usually is, either, because some people cheated last time so we didn't get to go back and look at ones we missed and stuff like that. i don't think it would have helped me one way or another, though, because the ones i missed, i just REALLY couldn't remember...except one. oh well...i remembered it AFTER i walked out of the room, but it was too late. AMAZING HOW THAT ALWAYS SEEMS TO HAPPEN TO ME!!!!!!!! man...3 and a half hours left... i just wanna go home. after all the "drama" that's been going on, i REALLY want my daddy to hug me and say it's all going to be ok. and i want to talk to jen. i want to know what she thinks. and i want to talk to chris...i miss him. i really really do! the night before he left, we stayed up late talking in my room about any and everything...i want that again. at least i have him ALL TO MYSELF tonight (i think).
i feel so friend-deprived while i'm at school. i mean, don't get me wrong...the friends that i have made here are amazing and SOOO nice to me, but it's not the same. besides poor erin who has to listen to all my drama problems, i don't have an "ice cream and chick flicks buddy" here. i mean...people say "if you need ANYTHING, don't hesitate to call" but i don't want to burden people with my petty problems, because that's all they are.
do i go out looking for drama or does it just always seem to find me? i don't get it...WHAT DID I DO?! i should sell my life story to some tv station and let them make it into a soap opera...that's been the joke since, like, 8th grade i think?! oh well...i wish i could just forget about you, but i can't...i don't know why. maybe it's because there's so much "history" and because we won't just end it that i can't once and for all get over it. we don't end anything...we always seem to say "we'll try again later" or "we'll finish this later" or whatever the case may be. oh well...maybe when i stop thinking about you i'll stop worrying about you, i'll stop writing about you, i'll be over you...
10:35 AM
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so my thoughts before i leave for SPRING BREAK!!!! (first) i may not be updating much while home because i don't know what i'm doing and when i'll have time to blog...or if i'll have anything to blog about.
ok...here it goes. either call or don't call but don't say you're going to call and then not. that's GOTTA be my biggest "pet peeve". no...it comes right after lying. i mean...yeah. it's no big deal if you're not going to call me back so we can "finish our conversation" but if you're not planning on it, DON'T EVEN SUGGEST IT! and don't say "i thought it would be too late to call you" because i told you that i'd love to hear from you no matter what time. it's a bad excuse that you use way too often. i don't mind being woken up by a friend. now, if it was a complete stranger with the wrong number i might be a bit perturbed, but ANY one of you would be fine. whether it be 9 at night or 3 in the morning...if you want to talk to me, GIVE BELLE A RING! (belle is my phone, just so you know...)
practice this morning was alright. i liked monday and tuesday better, but it's no big deal. i'm gunna miss it next week though. when i get back from spring break i'm gunna be fat and slow (again...back to square one). we'll see, though...
8:37 AM
jeudi, mars 11, 2004
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friend ( P ) (frnd)
n.
A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.
One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement: friends of the clean air movement.
that is the dictionary definition of a friend...but what IS a friend? does the "definition" vary from one person to another? if not, why do we all have different friends? just a little something to think about...
"True friends are the people that are there for you unconditionally. They are the people that never question you and support you no matter what the circumstances are. They are the people worth living for." -unknown
would you die for a friend? would you die for your best friend?
9:49 AM
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got back about 30 minutes ago from the first of my "killer tests". it didn't seem quite as hard as the other one *knock on wood* but there were still some that i didn't have any idea about. i probably should start reading the book, what do you think?
man...practice today felt SOOOO amazing. brian and elaine commented on how much faster i seem this week than i have the past few. YAY!!! they think i'm improving!!! :) but, yeah...today was nice. haha...i forgot my undies, though, so after practice, i had to put my wet suit back on so i could have SOMETHING on while i was at class. amazing enough my butt wasn't wet at all, so people couldn't point and laugh at me for "wetting my pants" or whatever.
there seem to be a lot of classes coming to txstate this week. tuesday i was outside studying for my care of ath. injuries test (and burning, and talking on the phone with ann) when bernie comes up followed by a group of 8th graders (maybe?! i dunno what grade). today as i was walking back from jowers, there was a big group of elementary school kids here. i mean...they're not already looking into college, are they!? there aren't any events going on, that i know of, that is "elementary clean". maybe i'm wrong, though. i have no idea what goes on around this campus, but i think it's kinna cool.
THREE TESTS DOWN, THREE TO GO!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm a tid-bit excited about getting these things over with. MAN...sooooo many diagrams to memorize by 5:00 tonight. i better get to that, so i'll write more later!
9:29 AM
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One day, a man went to visit a church. He got there early, parked his car, and got out. Another car pulled up near him and the driver got out and said, "I always park there! You took my place!"
The visitor went inside for Sunday School, found an empty seat and sat down. A young lady from the church approached him and stated, "That's my seat! You took my place!"
The visitor was somewhat distressed by this rude welcome, but said nothing. After Sunday School, the visitor went into the sanctuary and sat down. Another member walked up to him and said, "That's where I always sit! You took my place!" The visitor was even more troubled by this treatment but he still said nothing.
Later as the congregation was praying for Christ to dwell among them, the visitor stood up and his appearance began to change. Horrible scars became visible on his hands and on his sandaled feet. Someone from the congregation noticed him and called out, "What happened to you?" The visitor replied, as his hat became a crown of thorns, and a tear fell from his eye, "I took your place."
9:08 AM
mercredi, mars 10, 2004
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what the hay did i do to deserve all this? all i asked was a simple question that EVERYONE else seems to know the answer to. is it SUCH a crime for me to want to know too? i came to you like you asked me to and you still won't tell me. maybe i should go to my other sources. but, no. you mean too much to me for me to disregard your request. i wish you knew that...no, let me correct myself. i wish you accepted that you mean the world to me, but since you won't...yeah. i can't keep trying like this. when you're ready/if you're ever ready to talk to me again (in general) i'll be ready and waiting...
i have to ask...if something happened to me, would you "be there for me" like you always say you would? i mean...yeah. if friday at 4:30, my mom called you and told you that i got in a terrible accident and they weren't sure if i was going to make it or not, would you drop everything like you said you would and come sit by my hospital bedside to be with me in my time of need or would you just tell my mom you're sorry and you hope everything works out? i hope you said you wouldn't betray our friendship, but i can't help but think that it just might be too much to ask of you.
how many people do you know that would HONESTLY drop everything for you if you asked them to? i'd like to think that i have more than i'm sure i really do. people say "if you ever need ANYTHING, call me...i'll be there for you." who, though, really will be there for you?
7:43 PM
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"He who betrays a secret cannot be trusted, he will never find an intimate friend.
Cherish your friend, keep faith with him; but if you betray his confidence, follow him not;
For as an enemy might kill a man, you have killed your neighbor's friendship.
Like a bird released from the hand, you have let your friend go and cannot recapture him;
Follow him not, for he is far away, he has fled like a gazelle from the trap.
A wound can be bound up, and an insult forgiven, but he who betrays secrets does hopeless damage.
He who has shifty eyes plots mischief and no one can ward him off"
-Sirach 27:16-22
(this one's just...because i found it...kinna goes with the last one...)
2:53 PM
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ok, quote of the day:
"One who jabs the eye brings tears:
he who pierces the heart bares its feelings.
He who throws stones at birds drives them away,
and he who insults a friend breaks up the friendship.
Should you draw a sword against a friend,
despair not, it can be undone.
should you speak sharply to a friend,
fear not, you can be reconciled.
But a contemptuous insult, a confidence broken,
or a treacherous attack will drive away any friend."
-Sirach 22:19-22
do with that what you want...
2:38 PM
mardi, mars 09, 2004
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We all want to fall in love. Why?
Because that experience makes us feel completely alive.
Where every sense is heightened,
every emotion is magnified,
our everyday reality is shattered
and we are flying into the heavens.
It may only last a moment, an hour, an afternoon.
But that doesn't diminish its value.
Because we are left with memories
that we treasure for the rest of our lives.
8:00 PM
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has anyone noticed that my posts are comming fewer and farther between? i know...this one's kind of ruining that whole thought, but it's just a thought. not only that, but they're a LOT shorter and less...deep... not as much emotion comes out anymore. oh well...what can i say?! i'm all emotioned out. 70 HOURS, CHRIS!!!!!!!!! :-D
6:45 PM
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i'm all red... i was outside studying and got a little pink...then erin and i went tanning...now i'm red. I HAVE A "BAND TAN" again. i'm not even in band. oh well...i'll be tan for spring break. oh oh...erin said she was gunna be really outgoing over spring break at padre so i told her that if she got 10 phone numbers i'd make her a homemade dinner. i'm really not very good at cooking but it will be fun and it's more incentive for her to get more numbers. YAY!!! i wanted to go to sewell today but i don't think i should. erin's off to her chi-o meeting so i think i'm going to get back to my flashcards that i was studying when ann called me earlier and i was outside studying.
speaking of ann...we had a really good talk today. it's pretty much the same stuff we ALWAYS talk about but...whatever. CHRIS CALLED ME!!! wow...i dunno if he's calling because he wants to or because someone's making him, but either way...yeah. we "fought" today like we used to...it was really refreshing. i think there's hope in our friendship after all...*sigh* oh well. i STILL wish i could see him over spring break, but i can't have everything. the rest of this week's gunna be perfect...doesn't mean next week's gotta be perfect too... aaaanyway...i really gotta get to those flashcards...
5:54 PM
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I LOVE THIS WEATHER!!!!! I LOVE THIS CAMPUS!!!!!! I LOVE THIS SCHOOL!!!!! I LOVE MY ROOMMATE!!!! so yesterday, i thought, was a "perfect" day...no...today's gotta be better. the weather is 10 times better, i'm already finished with classes (and have been for an hr and a half) and don't have anything else to do today but study.
this morning at masters practice, we swam a 2500...if felt SOOO good...i'm a little sore, but it's a good sore. i can only think of one thing that could make today better...if you can guess it i'll give you a cookie!
12:01 PM
lundi, mars 08, 2004
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erin and i made a "spring break pact". since she's going to padre for 5 days, she's gotta get 3 phone numbers from random guys and since i'm NOT going to padre, i have to get one random guy's phone number. HOW COOL IS THAT?! man...here we are all excited about spring break, but today when i was emptying the trash i realized that while we're both excited about spring break, it means we're not gunna see each other for SEVEN days. we better have GOOD stories to share...
i wanna guy...
9:30 PM
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TODAY WAS SUUUUUUUUCH A BEAUTIFUL DAY!!!!!!!!!! ok, this morning i woke up at 5:30 and drove to swim practice, which was LOTS of fun. then i came back and erin and i decided that it was going to be a good day. we went to class, caught up with each other for lunch (at the den! wraps are sooooo delicious!), ate in the room and decided that we were going to go tanning, down to the river to "lay out" and "study", then we were going to go to the pool so erin could swim (and i, of course, would just swim again). sooooo...we went to class. mine was REALLY boring. i don't know why i go, except that if i don't go i can't exempt the final. all she does EVERYDAY is put me to sleep...she reads the stuff out of the book...i could do that myself. i make my flashcards...my mind wanders for an hour every mon, wed, friday because i can't concentrate that long. and the way she talks to us makes me feel like a first grader again. AHHH!!! i'm in freaking COLLEGE!!! aaaanyway...yeah. erin and i still haven't gone swimming, but we went went to the river. it was really nice. kyle came and joined us too. YAY!!! :) i like that guy. he makes me laugh. i'm gunna miss him if he doesn't come back next year. ok...so what else...uh...oh, the med terms test that i thought i failed (because it's been a hella bad two weeks) i actually got a 91 on. and since i get to drop one test, my average in that class is a 98.2!!!! i REALLY hope i can keep it up there (aka-study really hard for my next test) because i REALLY dont want to take that final. it's gunna kill me! what else...man. i'm SURE there's lots to tell about and i just can't think of anything.
anyway, today was beautiful. oh...you know, it was SUCH a great day that i was even nice to someone that it's going to be really hard for me to be nice to...but i was...and i suggested something to him/her that i don't suggest to ANYONE except my BEST friends...not just SOMEONE. so...yeah... tomorrow's gunna be even better! i just...really have to study. mid-terms start tomorrow at 9:30 with my taping practical. AHHH!!! i hope i remember everything there is to remember about the ankle one. up, down, around the heel and back up. BOTH ways! make all the tape flat and pretty. i think i can do it...i HOPE i can do it...i wanna A in that class...
7:12 PM
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Around the corner I have a friend,
In this great city that has no end,
Yet the days go by and weeks rush on,
And before I know it, a year is gone.
And I never see my old friends face,
For life is a swift and terrible race,
He knows I like him just as well,
As in the days when I rang his bell.
And he rang mine but we were younger then,
And now we are busy, tired men.
Tired of playing a foolish game,
Tired of trying to make a name.
"Tomorrow" I say! "I will call on! Jim
Just to show that I'm thinking of him."
But tomorrow comes and tomorrow goes,
And distance between us grows and grows.
Around the corner, yet miles away,
"Here's a telegram sir," "Jim died today."
And that's what we get and deserve in the end.
Around the corner, a vanished friend.
Remember to always say what you mean.
If you love someone, tell them.
Don't ! be afraid to express yourself. Reach
out and tell someone what they mean
to you. Because when you decide that it is
the right time it might be too late.
Seize the day. Never have regrets. And most importantly,
stay close to your friends and family, for they have helped make
you the person that you are today.
6:44 PM
dimanche, mars 07, 2004
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don't you hate it when you type out a WHOLE blog and then something stupid happens with your computer and you lose the whole thing? yeah...
i think i'm up to 150 flashcards for thursday's care of athletic injuries midterm now. yay for that. my hand hurts from writing so much, so here's my short little break.
i was in such a hurry earlier today that i forgot to tell y'all about the conversation my mom and i had while i was there. anyway, i called home to tell them that i was finished swimming and i wanted to tell them how i did and everything but they were at church so when they got home, my mom called me and i told her how i did and everything and she was like "are you somewhere that you can talk or is it really noisy there?" i told her that it was noisy but that i could go outside if she needed to talk to me. she said she did, i asked if it was good or bad, she said there are 2-one of each which did i want to hear first. who likes hearing the good news then the bad news? i like to hear the bad stuff first so i told her that and she told me that my dad's mother (g'ma) is in the hospital. apparently she's been really dizzy recently so they brought her to the hospital and the doctors are running tests and everything and that was all they knew. (later, when i talked to my dad, he said that they think it's sinus stuff but they haven't gotten back the results so we still don't know.) keep her in your prayers, will you? thanks.
ok, so the good news was... after church today my mom talked to mr. fabien (i dunno how to spell it) and asked if they were hiring an assistant coach or if he knew of anyone that is hiring one. he said that if ONLY he had known that i was looking for a job he would have hired me in a heartbeat. (i'm hearing that more and more these days...it kinna SUCKS because i STILL don't have a job.) but jessica gaska also interviewed for the giammalva position and has worked with sherri before, so i think i'm going to call sherri and decline the offer and suggest jess get it. she'd be great, i know her personally and if she and sherri have already worked together...yeah. it'll just be a way better fit. apparently, if giammalva gets jess they get alan, too. that would be AWESOME! my mom suggested i start saying that, too. "if you hire me, you get my younger brother." i wonder how he'd feel about that...
as for the results of my swim meet today...my times were a little disappointing, but i haven't been swimming that much so...yeah. i'm pleased, i suppose...
100 back: 1st place with a 1:17.56 i went out a 36 something, so...yeah.
100 free: 3rd place with a 1:13.40 i went out a 34
50 free: 1st with a 31.54
50 fly: 1st with a 33.99
(so you don't get all confused, the places are determined by age group in masters so even though i was swimming against 50 yr olds, i was only ranked with people between the age of 19 and 24.)
i think that's probably all i have to say for right now... well...this was a nice break from writing...NICE break from looking at medical terms, however, i MUST get back to it now...
5:21 PM
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i can't blog long because i'm WAY behind in my studying, but i went and competed in the swim meet this morning and ended up placing 1st in three events and 3rd in one. if you want to know the details, you'll have to ask because i just wanted to say a little something before i get sucked into the books and flashcards...
1:56 PM
samedi, mars 06, 2004
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last thought before i head off to san antonio...
do you ever wonder who would care if something happened to you? i mean...who would REALLY care. people say "if something happened to you, i'd drop everything and come sit by you and be with you however you needed me," but do they really mean it? or would they have to just send their condolances if it was "bad timing" for them?
11:33 AM
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today in san antonio some members of the san marcos masters swim team are competing in a swim meet. erin and i didn't get to sign up because we were sick and didn't go to practice for, like, two weeks but it's no big deal. i think i'm going to go watch them and cheer them on and stuff. that way at least i get a feel for how masters meets run and everything so i'll know for the next one.
i have SOOOOOO many tests and stuff to study for...and i have to draw a picture *suck* for my intro to fine arts class. i really shouldn't be blogging right now, and don't know if it's a good idea to go to the meet, but i figure i'll go down there for a little bit and then leave to come back after i've watched a few good races and congratulated a few people.
i went to renee's last night after the basketball game with david, mike, kyle, jess, and one of mike and kyle's friends. it was sooooooo much fun! i love those guys! anyway...i learned how to play poker. it's a little different than the way i've seen it play before, but i learned either way. they were playing for money (i have none) but i decided not to play that time...to kind of see how they all play and stuff. MIKE'S A FREAKING HOSS!!! wow...i'm never gunna play against him for money. poor jess...we still love you though. :-D
i was THIS CLOSE to drinking last night (yes, for the first time) because i just...wanted to do it, i dunno, but since i talked to chris last night (amazing, i know) and he made me promise that if i drank i wouldn't drive, i didn't. i wasn't going to have much, though...just a sip of david's. i probably wouldn't have liked it anyway but a promise to a "best friend" is a promise to a "best friend"...something i can't break no matter how small.
speaking of best friends...isn't it funny how your "best friends" change sooo much as you grow up? i mean...mine changed from no school to elementary schoo, from elementary school to high school and in high school. now that i'm in college, i have to wonder if my "best friend" is still my best friend. i mean...when y'all are close and everything it's easy to say "i don't know where i'd be without you...i need you in my life...i can tell you ANYTHING...you're the best friend in the whole world, don't ever leave me...blah blah blah and stuff like that." something happens, and all of a sudden you don't know ANYTHING about him/her anymore. amazing, isn't it? when we were in high school people said that high school let you find your true friends and now that we're in college, people say that college will find you your best friends for the rest of your life. i thought i had the best friends in the world already from high school, but recent events have led me to believe the saying. maybe we were friends to help each other grow up, but college really does change people and when people change, friendships change...nothing you can do about it. (if anyone doesn't believe my about people changing in college, send me a message...i'll explain this SOO much better...*sigh* you naive people.)
so...to my "best friend"...maybe it's all just a joke and because we've changed, our friendship is supposed to change as well...i just wish i knew what that meant for us...
(ps-posts are going to become fewer and shorter because i don't have anything to talk about and all the tests are going to be keeping me busy for the next week...just FYI for those of you who read this religiously.)
10:51 AM
vendredi, mars 05, 2004
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YAY for talking to phil again today. man...if there's one guy that always makes me laugh it's phil...er...and coach brewer! that guy's always picking on me, though. today he told me that i gave him more trouble than anyone else on our team (which is SOO not true) and that he learned how to truly be a coach from some of the things that sammy, erin and i used to do to him. for instance... the coach we had before him use to tell us to do an "easy" and somehow we got to talking to him one day and he said that he used to pull a "ron" and just walk while moving his arms. well...when PHIL got there, he used to say "do a 50 easy" so we, of course, would move our arms like we were swimming but would be walking on the bottom of the pool. NOW, because of us, when he wants his swimmers to do a "50 easy" he tells them to SWIM a 50 easy. haha...good to know i help someone become a great coach, right?! aaaaanyway... hopefully i'll get to work in college station this summer and i'll get the chance of a lifetime and get the opportunity to work with him. that would make not being at home SOOO worth it. i gotta remember to make him chocolate chip with pecan cookies next time i go to bryan, though, because he sure has gone out of his way to help me find a job. what a great guy!! hehe
we're playing sfa tonight (basketball) here, so i'm going to get a little bit of studying (aka flashcards for med terms) finished before i head over there to watch that.
i'm SOOOOOO glad the weather finally cleared up. it's such a pretty day today. if erin hadn't gone home, we woulda gone to sewell park to "lay out" and swim in the river. oh well...hope she's having a great weekend at home!!!
4:12 PM
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stupid people....SUCH stupid people... ok, so before my anatomy class today there were some people talking about how they were just going to sign in for attendance credit then get up and leave so they didn't have to sit through the lecture. haha...of course it SOUNDS like a good idea...in theory...if you have a stupid professor. about halfway through the lecture, prof. probakharan was like "has everyone signed the attendance sheet? good, sign this one too." and he sent around a second one and the second one is the one he's going to use for credit. some guy came in late to class (at the very end) and went up to get his name on the sheet....wonder if he got on there or not?! *shrugs* anyway...i think it's funny...STUPID people...
12:16 PM
jeudi, mars 04, 2004
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wow...i feel like such a bad friend... name it, i've probably done it sometime in the past 2 weeks. WHY?! have i always been like this or is it a new thing?! and if i HAVE always been like this...why didn't y'all call me out on it before? were you waiting for me to figure it out on my own? HELLO!!! i'm one of those people that you gotta call me out (not in public or i'll get all defensive) or i'll do it forever...as some of you have come to realize (and some of you think i do it because i think it's fun...). anyway...erin's craving hocho, so i'm gunna go with her to get some...
10:40 PM
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you know what i miss most about being at school? having my best friends around when i need a hug. if the past week hasn't been the most trying then i don't know what has... i just need a hug...but i may not get the one i need from the one i need it from....
4:10 PM
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wow...i thought it was just that one scene...it was the WHOLE freaking show...it's all my life...i sure did play lots of roles today, though...AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! :(
3:43 PM
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man...7th heaven today was SOOO my life. oh my goodness...it's...so crazy. when lucy went to talk to...that guy (i dunno his name)...that's exactly how i feel. if you were watching (which none of you were) then you know what i'm saying. if not, then you don't.
sounds like hail outside...i hope connie's gunna be ok.
I HATE MY LIFE!!! :(
3:34 PM
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i'm changing my profile but really like the quotes that are in it, so i've decided to post them here. if you like the, use them. if you don't like them, don't use them.
"a girl and a guy can be just friends, but at one point or another they will fall for each other..maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late, or maybe forever..."
"never regret what you've done because at one moment, at one time, it was all you wanted to do"
"never give up on someone you can't go a day without thinking about"
"to the world you may just be one person, but to one person you may just be the world!"
I want to be the one he looks at, smiles, and says to his friends... "Thats her!"
2:48 PM
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you know, sometimes i think i blog enough for everyone. it seems like other people are feeling that way, too, because NO ONE blogs anymore. and there's nothing wrong with that, except that i have no idea what's going on in anyone's life when they DON'T blog. oh well...what can i say? i'm addicted and they're not. it's probably a good thing that they're not, right? i mean...lots of addicts?! just kidding...
two guys from my taping and bandaging class walked me back from class today. it was nice to talk to some guys for a change. i really miss all you guys i used to be friends with in high school because i got really used to having guys around and it made me miss my brothers less. being at school, though, i don't have many friends and i have fewer guy friends than i do girl friends which just...sucks. aaaanyway, while we were walking one of them (you know, i don't have any idea what either of their names are but i WILL find out on tuesday) was talking about his psychology class (they are both in psych and for those of you who don't know, i took it last semester) and how his prof is really cool because she's letting them do lots of extra credit. anyway, so we (the other guy and i) asked what kinds of stuff she was allowing for extra credit and he said that since they have been talking about dreams, his prof is letting them turn in dreams that they've had for 2 pts each, up to 10 dreams. that's 20 points you could get for writing down some random stuff on paper and turning it in. TALK ABOUT EASY!! he was saying that it's really harder than it sounds because you can't remember most of your dreams and the other guy and i looked at each other and were like, "duh..just write some random stuff down. she's not going to know if it was true or not." haha...some people just don't know how to cheat the system i guess. either way, that was kinna funny but what was even funnier was the fact that i got back to the room and erin was like, "man, i just had the weirdest dream..." HAHA!!! i laughed then explained why i was laughing. but she was right...it was a weird dream about talking sharks. i think she's seen finding nemo a few too many times. *ggl* (zach, that one's for you!!)
in care of injuries, my prof gave us half of the test (like what to study). i'm SOOO glad i never miss that class. when there are few people there he gives test answers and takes attendance and stuff. it's nice since i go, but it would SUCK big toes if i skipped. the guy that sits next to me complains everyday about how he can't get up for the class and all i can say to that is, "haha...i've been up since 5:30 this morning..."
as much as i hate getting up on tuesdays and thursdays for swimming, i sure do feel better once i get there and get in the water. and i feel like i belong. i mean, yeah they pick on us a little because we're younger but it's fun. today they were pulling the whole "back in my day" thing...it was actually really fun. there's a swim meet in san antonio this weekend that erin and i missed signing up for because we were both sick so much, but if i don't go to sfa (which it looks more and more like i'm not going to go) then i'll call elaine and see if i can get directions to the meet and i'll go watch them and cheer them on and so on.
it's almost halfway through the semester already and STILL i can't tear the darn tape for that stupid taping and bandaging class i have. at least i'm not the only one, though. today we were all kinna complaining about how it SUCKS and stuff and...yeah. i think i'm going to see if academy has the "bad tape" because all walmart has is the "good tape" and practicing tearing with the good tape isn't going to help me tear the bad tape, ya know?
i talked to chris today for, like, 10 seconds. he was on his way into class, so hopefully we'll get to talk later...i hope...hopefully things will go well too...we'll see...
i'm such a selfish person, aren't i? wow...it's "all about the me", huh?! yeah...if anyone can help me get over myself...yeah.
1:00 PM
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haha...i'm all about the quotes and making my own out of ones i've heard... so today's quote goes like this...
you know the quote "never give up on someone you can't go a day without thinking about"? mine goes like THIS... "don't hang onto something that you may never have again." it's like a continuation of the quote, just add "but" before the "don't" and there ya go! the story of my life!
10:39 AM
mercredi, mars 03, 2004
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i don't get it... guys can get 6-packs...celebrities (girls) can too...WHY CAN'T I?! it seems like all the ab workouts/crunches i do don't do anything for the BOTTOM part..which is the gross part. it's all the upper rectus abdominus muscles. WHY NOT THE LOWER ONES? and what about those "love handles"? why can't they go away too?! hello...i HATE being a girl... all i want is to go back to when i was in 3rd grade and be in the shape i was in then. if i knew this (present) was what i was gunna end up like, i would have taken a LOT better care of myself (ie-not quit swimming). dang that stupid band and all my friends being in stupid band... no, i'm kidding...but i wish i had kept swimming. i'm sure i could have done them both if i tried hard enough to. i might not have been able to take as many elective classes but it would have been worth it because i wouldn't be sitting here now hating myself and my body for what i did to it. oh well...i can't go back and change it... wow...that statement is SOOO relavent for SOOOO many things right now. and to think...i was single mindedly thinking ONLY of my lack of flexibility and lack of...being fit. anyway...yeah... erin and i gotta get up at 5:30 tomorrow morning because thursdays are SWIMMING days. YAY!
i got a song for you...it's "not a day goes by" by lonestar...
Got a picture of you I carry in my heart
Close my eyes to see it when the world gets dark
Got a memory of you I carry in my soul
I wrap it close around me when the nights get cold
If you asked me how I'm doin' I'd say just fine
But the truth is baby, if you could read my mind
Not a day goes by that I don't think of you
After all this time you're still with me it's true
Somehow you remain locked so deep inside
Baby, baby, oh baby, not a day goes by
I still wait for the phone in the middle of the night
Thinkin' you might call me if your dreams don't turn out right
And it still amazes me that I lie here in the dark
Wishin' you were next to me, your head against my heart
If you asked me how I'm doing I'd say just fine
But the truth is baby, if you could read my mind
Not a day goes by that I don't think of you
After all this time you're still with me it's true
Somehow you remain locked so deep inside
Baby, baby, oh baby, not a day goes by
Minutes turn to hours, and the hours to days
Seems it's been forever that I've felt this way
Not a day goes by that I don't think of you
After all this time you're still with me it's true
Somehow you remain locked so deep inside
Baby, baby, oh baby, not a day goes by
10:41 PM
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it's sad when there are 57 people "on" on my buddy list and not ONE of them is talking to me. and of the 154 buddies that i have, i really just want to talk to 2 right now...neither of which are on...
9:26 PM
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so i went to the health fair today (for extra credit for med terms) and one of the booths was from the rec center and they were doing body comp. wanna get grossed out?! haha...i'm 17.2% body fat. GROSS!!! oh well...what can i say!? they said that 15-25% is healthy for my age so...yeah...oh well...i HATE being a girl. there were two guys in there before me and one of them was like "i'm 5% this year." and the guy that was with him was like "i'm 10%...i went up 2% from the last time i had it done...dang." if ONLY boys knew...DANG...oh well...
2:44 PM
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"The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, not the kindly smile nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him."
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
12:08 PM
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i'm sure i'm preaching to the choir here, but one thing that really pisses me off about my anatomy class is that people don't shut-up...like EVER! monday and again today people have said that they couldn't hear prof. probakharan and...yeah. it's not elementary school...JUST SHUT UP WHEN THE PROF IS TALKING!!!!!! it's really not that hard. even if you don't have respect for the guy or for the rest of the 200 people in the class, YOU'RE PAYING BIG BUCKS TO LISTEN TO THE MAN TALK! if you don't want to listen, DON'T COME TO CLASS!!! not only that, but he's hard to understand...so instead of talking, PAY FREAKING ATTENTION!!!!!!!! my goodness...this is getting really stupid. i've been holding it in long enough...i just really can't take it anymore...it's just rediculous that people talk for an hour straight. it's not like in high school where you had to sit in class everyday *blah blah*. you can leave when you want, you can come if you want, you can skip if you want...
*sigh* now that that's finished...i gotta study through lunch for this stupid med terms test...wish me luck...
12:02 PM
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came across this quote somewhere and i figure...i should probably listen to it. if it's in here, at least y'all can remind me about it and i will do a better job of remembering it...
"When you can't have what you want, it's time to start wanting what you have!"
10:34 AM
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(my thoughts on the way back from fine arts...) they may say "life's like a box of chocolates..." but i'm starting to think life's more like a rose bush. i mean...think about it... you've got really wonderful things that happen to you (the petal part) but with every beautiful thing, there are just as many, if not more, bad/sad/hurtful things that happen (the thorns). soooo...i've decided that "life's like a rosebush. with all the beautiful things, there are numerous unexpected and crummy things that will happen. all this said, it's up to YOU whether you are going to nourish the thorns or the petals." i know, i know...it's cheesy and stupid, but IT'S MY BLOG!!! don't like it? complain...it doesn't matter to me.
i have my third med terms test today...i wish i had confidence in how i'll do but...yeah...not so much. there are just too many darn words that mean the same stupid thing. not only that, but the pathology stuff...the words don't mean what they look like they'd mean. IT'S SOOO STUPID!!!! oh well...i guess that's just part of school, right?
there's a girl in my fine arts class to must have gone tanning last night or yesterday sometime or something because she's REALLY burned...and the sun hasn't been out in about 2 weeks.
i'm not a very patient person, for those of you who don't already know this about me. talking to mina last night i ALSO realized that i make everything a way bigger deal than it is because i somehow convince myself that it is a "life or death" situation (not for everything, but those of you who know what i'm talking about...well...know what i'm talking about). i'm SUCH a tiger... i have to know what's going to happen and i want to know before i get into anything that way i'll know whether to put my heart and soul into it or not. but then...would God give me these recurring feelings if i wasn't supposed to have them? and would i be having them if they weren't supposed to mean something? and if they're supposed to mean something...shouldn't that something happen!? see...over-analysis...my specialty!
for those of you who have been depending on me for the official spring break count-down, i'm sorry that i've been slacking but with all the stuff...yeah. we're down to 10 days today. 247 hrs, chris!!!
10:12 AM
mardi, mars 02, 2004
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A man and his dog...
A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery,when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.
After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.
When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like Mother of Pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold.
He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side. When he was close enough, he called out,"Excuse me, where are we?"
"This is Heaven, sir," the man answered.
"Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" the man asked.
"Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up." The man gestured, and the gate began to open.
"Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in, too?" the traveller asked.
"I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets."
The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog. After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road which led through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence. As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.
"Excuse me!" he called to the reader. "Do you have any water?"
"Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there". The man pointed to a place that couldn't be seen from outside the gate. "Come on in."
"How about my friend here?" the traveler gestured to the dog.
"There should be a bowl by the pump." They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it.
The traveler filled the bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog. When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree waiting for them.
"What do you call this place?" the traveler asked.
"This is Heaven," he answered.
"Well, that's confusing," the traveler said. "The man down the road said that was Heaven, too."
"Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's Hell."
"Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?"
"No. I can see how you might think so, but we're just happy that they screen out the folks who'll leave their best friends behind."
Soooo...
Sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding jokes to us without writing a word, maybe this could explain: When you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch, guess what you do? You forward jokes.
When you have nothing to say, but still want to keep contact, you forward jokes.
When you have something to say, but don't know what, and don't know how, you forward jokes.
And to let you know that you are still remembered, you are still important, you are still loved, you are still cared for, guess what you get? A forwarded joke.
So my friend, next time you get a joke from me, don't think that you've just been sent another forwarded joke, but that you've been thought of today.
10:07 PM
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