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OH THE DRAMA...
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samedi, septembre 03, 2005
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do you ever feel really lonely? like, you're not alone, but you feel like you are? yeah. *points to self* that's me. i have "friends" here...but don't have FRIENDS here. something i think i've decided. there are people i can hang out with, but i don't feel like i fit in. it's not because i went home last semester. i've never really felt like i fit in. maybe that's why i always want to go home and never hurry back. other people stay here as long as they can and can't WAIT to get back to school. not me. i don't think it's because i'm a daddy's girl or because chris is at home (although, those ARE good reasons), i think it's because i feel like i belong at home and don't feel like i have anything here. don't get me wrong. i'm happy here. i love the school, i love my classes, i love my room, i just don't love...here. it's nice to have my own space, but it's not MY space. it feels like home, but it doesn't feel like HOME. i know this doesn't make sense, but it's how i feel and i need to get it out.
there's so much i want to say. so much i NEED to say. i just don't know how to say it. i wish i had someone (other than rover) that i could tell everything to and know that they wouldn't get upset, wouldn't get their feelings hurt, and wouldn't take it the wrong way.
life sucks.
11:59 PM
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